How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship & Live Happily Again?

To restore trust, you need to consider the relationship as new. You have to work on it from zero.

Your partner is not trusting you anymore and your relationship has become untrustworthy! Now, it will take time and much work for building trust again.

Please do not lose hope, restoring trust is possible. Be with me, take responsibility, and be ready to work.

What Is Trust?

Webster’s 1828 Dictionary defines trust as:

“Confidence; a reliance or resting of the mind on the virtue, veracity, friendship, justice, or another sound principle of another person. It is a staunch belief that someone is good, honest, and effective.”

Trust allows us to spend life without doubts, burdens and cares. We believe that some other fellow will understand our point of view and we shall not have to be answered and accountable frequently. 

how to gain someone's trust back - trust is confidence
Trust is confidence.

It saves us from carrying the weight of anxiety, and we can enjoy the lightness of our hearts and minds.

Trust Is Confidence.

Trust is the confidence that we put in some other person. 1 It makes it easy to make decisions without being stressed and anxious. Having confidence, we get bold to live with joyish and positive expectations.

But it happens in our lives that the course does not run smoothly and we misplace our confidence in people whom we used to be proud of. 

Our feelings get wounded and our hearts perish when some of our dear and near one breaks our trust by being betrayed to us.

How Do You Build Trust In A Relationship?

Trust is built by materializing the vows and words that you had with your partner at the beginning of your relationship. 2

By being a man of words, not lying, and being fair and clear, you create the atmosphere to be trusted. If you don’t lie to your partner, they will believe that you can be wrong but can’t betray them. 

So, not to lie with your partner is the foundation of trust in a relationship.

How Do You Fix Trust Issues?

Trust demands the repetition of fair actions towards your partner. It is not a matter to be fixed just with a wink. It demands the continuous positivity of your personality. 3

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Trust issues are fixed by actions, not by words. 

If your partner has trust issues, be fair and clear in your dealings with them. If you have done something wrong, admit that wholeheartedly and promise not to repeat that. 

Double the dose of love and care and alleviate their concerns about you, if they have any. It helps to build trust again and make a trustworthy relationship.

How Do You Fix Trust Issues - i trusted you - GIF

Can A Relationship Be Saved When Trust Is Broken?

Yes, a relationship can be saved when trust is broken, but for it, both the partners should agree to the point of reconciliation. 4

If the one who has broken the trust of their significant other becomes stubborn, then it is less likely to save the relationship. Accepting the mistakes and promising not to repeat them is the condition to save a relationship when trust is broken.

Is It Worth Rebuilding Trust In A Relationship?

Yes, it is always worth rebuilding trust in a relationship. To err is the human, and nobody is an embodiment of perfection. 

If the one has betrayed the other, it hurts, but if the jam is passed sensibly without being too emotional, the worth of the relationship can be restored. 

Psychology says those who are shaken by undesirable circumstances later bring more harmony with their partners.

How Long Does It Take To Regain Trust In A Relationship?

According to relationship experts, there is no time limit to regain trust in a relationship. 5

First thing is, that the more the victim is consoled, the less it takes time to rebuild the trust. The second point in regaining the trust is to determine the vulnerability of the issue. 

If the partners had enough love and mutual understanding before the trust was broken, it will take less time to regain it. If both were fed up with each other, the broken trust will add fuel to the fire.

Does Space Help A Broken Relationship?

Yes, space does help a broken relationship. 

Expert marriage counselors always ask couples to use space for the better adjustment of their relationship, as it reminds them of each other’s worth for each other. 

Through space, partners find time to refresh themselves and reconsider heated topics. They also miss each other’s company during space. If the love is alive, after spending considerable time in space, both the partners will think about reconciliation and misunderstandings will start retreating. 

If no one consults, there are fewer chances to rebuild the relationship.

How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship to Live Happily Again - RC-ORG

How To Rebuild Trust In A Relationship?

If either of the partners has misled the others, the following points will be worth reading and utilizing to rebuild the trust in the relationship. 6 7

Be Fair And Clear In Your Intention.

While rebuilding trust in your relationship first, you need to be fair and clear in your intention. 

To regain someone’s trust back, clarity of intention is the first condition and your patience will be judged most of the time when you are on the voyage of rebuilding the broken trust, is, of course, the second thing to be considered.

Rebuilding, you know, is always a hard task to accomplish. 

how to fix a relationship after trust is broken
Be Fair And Clear In Your Intention.

Your determination will be a key factor in rebuilding the trust. Being determined, you will be able to swallow the hard words of your partner. 

For it, give yourself the inspiration that you will not be shaken by whatever you get in their response.

Admit Your Fault.

“I did not do that. I never meant to do that. I wanted to tell you, but… I know you are hurt.” Just avoid these formal phrases. 

You can’t get their trust back by the word magic. Even if you get back, it will not last long.

Simply confess that you have done wrong. Just confess and take responsibility. Don’t compel them for a kind reaction. They can’t do so. When someone is misled, it takes time to bring them back on track.

Your honest confession is the first message for them that they have some value. Gradually they will consider your confession, but during that “gradually” keep repeating your confession from time to time, not only by words but also by your actions. 

Don’t try to touch them and never seek physical intimacy unless things get cool.

Ask For Communication.

Ask them for communication. If they refuse, simply don’t compel them. Rather, tell them that you can wait until they are not willing.

Psychology says they will not make you wait for long as it happens that those who are betrayed are always in a hurry and want a way for their catharsis.

So their first reaction will be harsh emotionally or verbally, be ready for that. Here, your determination and patience will be checked. 

If you stay cool, you will successfully move to the next step, which is to make their catharsis. After their catharsis, they will feel a bit fresh. Now don’t try to communicate things further, rather leave the place.

After considerable time, that can be a day or two, ask them if you want to communicate. It is most likely that they will refuse, if they refuse, don’t force them. Wait and just wait.

Double The Love Dose.

They will try to be isolated. Let them. But don’t forget to take care of them through your loving actions. The more you will render them your love and care, the less it will take time to regain their trust.

how to regain someone's trust
Double The Love Dose.

If there was infidelity from your side, don’t last that long. If there was someone between you people, remove that fellow from your cellular and physical connection. Don’t try to make them believe by your words, but do it by your actions as it is said that actions speak louder than words.

Stay humble, and be courteous, even if they behave rudely. Your little actions of politeness during this hard time will give you sweet fruit.

Give Short Space.

If they ask for space, approve their demand, but not at once. If you say yes willingly and instantly, it will give them the message that you want to get rid of them. Ask them that you want to be with them for some time and after that, they can have space.

By seeking for the delay in space, you will have an opportunity to be with them to show them their value by loving and taking care of them. Utilize this opportunity. 

Now they will be ready to communicate too. During communication again, you will listen to harsh words and face bitter accents of theirs. Again, it is suggested to stay humble and confess your mistake. As you confess, soon they will be short of words.

People carry on with their complaints if they are refused. Once you start saying them right, they will soon be out of words.

As you notice that they are cool enough now, if again they ask for space, allow them.

During space-time, don’t forget to connect with them from time to time. After all, they should realize that you still love and miss them.

Restart Like A New Dating Experience.

After the break when there is a reunion, be ready to welcome them with new zeal and zest. Restart your journey with them like a new dating experience. For it, you need to feel fresh first.

Don’t be there with a heavy heart and empty skull rather, be and behave like an energetic fellow. The more you will feel fresh, the more you will be able to make them feel fresh.

Consider them your crush and leave no stone unturned to amuse them in your presence. Now it is about just a few days to be trusted and their loved one again. 

The only condition is not to miss the repetition of your love and care for them. And one last thing, never shake their trust again as it hurts it literally hurts.

how to regain trust in a relationship - how to rebuild trust in a relationship - infograph by relationcounseling.org
all points in one picture.

Conclusion.

Relationship and trust are two parallel things, you cannot survive with only one. Lack of trust will eventually break your relationship one day and it will hurt you.

It is why building trust back in your relationship is worth it. Work on building his/her ability to trust you again, and make his/her forgive you.

Once you started seeing some results, never ever break trust again! It will be much more difficult to regain trust the second time.

So, now, you know how to gain someone’s trust back. Work on it and remember relationships are built on trust.

I wish you all the best. If you still have questions let me know in the comment, and I will be back to you. 🙂

Your opinion is our union! 💕


References:
  1. Cofta, P. Confidence, trust and identityBT Technol J 25, 173–178 (2007). []
  2. https://aese.psu.edu/research/centers/cecd/engagement-toolbox/role-importance-of-building-trust []
  3. https://www.goodtherapy.org/blog/the-psychology-of-trust-issues-and-ways-to-overcome-them []
  4. https://classroom.synonym.com/can-relationship-saved-trust-broken-19899.html []
  5. Schilke O, Reimann M, Cook KS. Effect of relationship experience on trust recovery following a breach. Proc Natl Acad Sci U S A. 2013 Sep 17;110(38):15236-41. []
  6. https://www.psychologytoday.com/au/blog/friendship-20/201812/7-ways-build-trust-in-relationship []
  7. Pratt, M. G., & Dirks, K. T. (2007). Rebuilding Trust and Restoring Positive Relationships: A Commitment-Based View of Trust. In J. E. Dutton & B. R. Ragins (Eds.), Exploring positive relationships at work: Building a theoretical and research foundation (pp. 117–136). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers. []
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Calym Nush

Psychology is my passion and keenly observing relationships fascinates me. Sigmund Freud to Albert Bandura and William James to Jean Piaget has been my priorities since I am there at university. read more

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