How To Get A GUY To Open Up & Be SOULMATES!

Yes, guys are hard to open up to. 1 To make a guy open up, you need to build an emotional connection, gain his trust, become his favorite person, and become his buddy.

Without all this, he will not open up to you.

Confused, why all this? Let’s discuss.

Why do guys not open up quickly?

Before learning how to get a guy to open up, let’s discuss why it is hard at the first step. 2

It will help you in understanding the background of the situation and build an action plan.

Guys are not used to open up - kid not talking to reporter GIF

Guys do struggle to open up.

Yes, we the guys struggle to share our things!

Many thoughts start running through our minds at the moment when we decide to share our personal feelings. Thoughts like what will the next person think, she might get mind, she might feel bad, and she might start a fight with me. 

We do struggle with ourselves first to open up to anyone.

It took me 1.5 years to open up to my girlfriend back in 2013. Back in that day, she built an atmosphere in which I opened up my feelings that I like her. 

So, you need to be.

He wanted to open up but you didn’t handle it well.

He might be just to share his feelings with you but you were busy on the phone, he just struggling to share his feelings but you didn’t get it and he let it go. There can be endless situations!

Please understand this, if he is not used to sharing his thoughts and feelings with you, it is tough to make him open up to you for the first time. 

If he started sharing his gut feelings with you, then you both will be used to it, but it is challenging for the first time.

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It is why you need to understand him and make him open up. For this, make him comfortable, let him speak, and create a comfortable environment.

Men need a genuine connection to open up.

It is important. Yes, it is.

It is common sense, if we are not used to becoming personal with someone, then why would we share our personal thoughts with him?

You need to win his heart, his feelings, and his emotions. Once you make this, he will be used to sharing his true feelings with you.

Need of right atmosphere.

Special things need a special environment.

To make him open to you, you need to give him a comfortable environment where there are no distractions, especially when you both are not used to sharing gut feelings.

With a nice environment, also, encourage him a little. 

It will make him feel safe, overcome his inner thoughts, and open up to you.

Gender Difference.

Men consider them stronger than females emotionally and physically. It can be the reason for a few guys to not share their feelings with a weak person! 3 4

Although it is not a common thought among every male; there are chances your boy can think so.

If this is the case, you need to encourage him softly and tell him you understand his feelings, you understand his situation, and he can open up to you.

Why do guys not open up quickly - infograph by relationcounseling.org
All reasons in one picture.
how to get a guy to open up - how to get him to open up - girl is holding his boyfriend

How to get a guy to open up to you?

By making him comfortable, starting a conversation, encouraging him to talk, asking the right questions, and giving him a little space, you can make a guy open up to you.

He might be a shy guy and get struggle to open up. In this case, you need to spend time with him to make him comfortable with you.

Here are the strong tips, by following, you can make a guy open up to you emotionally.

Make him comfortable.

Sitting on a couch but disturbed inside is not comfortable at all! 

Comfortable means you are not in an angry mood. 
Comfortable means you are willing to actively talk and listen to him.
Comfortable means you are encouraging him and asking relevant questions.
Comfortable means you are being friendly with him.

Science is simple: make him comfortable and let him talk.

If you both are sitting and not talking, it will create a boring and awkward situation. Having a conversation is important, a friendly conversation!

If you are with a shy guy, you need to begin a conversation. Keep him interested by making conversation interesting.

How to start a conversation?

If you both struggle to start a good conversation, remember you need to become a conversation starter. He is already struggling with his thoughts. 5

A good conversation can make a good connection.

To open a conversation, start talking and say something. Just say it, yes. 

It can be how the day is going, are you feeling comfortable, how life is going, or can ask about his hobbies.

You can think and note down the things to talk about before you meet with him. It will make you prepared.

Let him talk.

First, you need to encourage him, once he started talking to you openly, you need to listen to him carefully. Become an active listener.

How to get him to open up - let him talk and listen
Let him talk and just listen.

It is important you make him talk and then let him talk. Just listen.

When he started talking to you, do not interrupt him, and give him positive body gestures, head nodding, and make eye contact with him.

Ask him questions.

If you want a guy to open up to you, ask him questions about himself. He will not only answer you but also, take an interest in the conversation. 

It will also show him you are interested in him, so there will be more chances for him to speak out to you from his inner self and make him fall in love with you. 💚

While in the conversation, you can check his body language to ask more fun questions. Make sure your questions are not making him uncomfortable.

A good sense of humor will be appreciated.

You can also write down the list of questions to ask a guy so that you remember most of them.

Make an emotional bond.

It is the strongest bond between the two humans. 

When his emotions get attached to you, he will be yours for a lifetime. And a woman like you deserves this.

how to make a man open up to you emotionally
Make an emotional bond

To accomplish this, you need to encourage him in his daily activities, his hobbies, and support him when he feels down and gets emotionally sick. We only can feel when a person needs emotional support. Feel it, and don’t miss it.

Be patient.

Your boyfriend-to-be can take time to open up to you, be patient. You need to keep trying, but do not push hard. 

Do not get mad if he is getting more time than expected. If you get mad, you will make things worst.

Make things natural and let him behave naturally with you. Just build an environment and make him comfortable, after some time, he will start opening up with you.

Give him a little space.

A little space can let him realize your worth in his life.

When you see he is about to open up but taking much time, give him space, and leave contact for a few days. It will make him feel that he might lose you if he doesn’t get open to you.

Do not get aggressive with this point, do it carefully. I recommend you to learn how to give him space .

how to make a guy to open up - infograph by relationcounseling.org
all points in one picture.

Signs he is ready to open up to you.

To not miss the opportunity when he is just about to open up to you, understand these positive signs when a guy is willing to speak out. 6

Get familiar with these signs, if you found these in your man, he is ready to get a deeper relationship with you. If so, grab the opportunity and let your guy open to you. 🙂

Spends more time with you.

If you have noticed he is spending more time with you than usual and find out the opportunity to be with you, it is a sign something is going in his head. 

Either he wants to be open up to you or started liking your company.

If this is happening to you, do not react immediately. Watch his behavior for a few days and then gently speak off-topic. Have a long conversation and he will be open to you soon. 

Long Conversation.

This sign is related to the previous one. If he tries to extend the conversation, it could be a sign he wants to share something with you.

You can identify this if he wants to discuss more and more, but not about work or school. He just wants to get friendly with you and want to get close to you.

It is a good sign. He is just about to open up to you. Take a step, start discussing your personal life with him, and he will be open to you. 

To get out from the next person, first, we need to give something. 😉

He changed the topic.

Some signs he is trying to open to you are like:

  • He said he wants to discuss something with you, but he shared something usual.
  • He comes to you to talk but got nervous.

You just need to encourage him and give him an environment where he can talk to you without any distraction. 

I discussed it above in the first reason why men do not get open up quickly.

He starts to share more about himself.

If he started to share more about himself, it is a sign he started liking you, and wants to open up to you to impress you.

How to make your boyfriend open up to you

Men usually represent themselves as a hero when they want to impress the next person. He might say, he would be going to buy a house, a luxury car, and things like this. 

If you have noticed this, it highlights two things. He considered you. Secondly, he is interested in you. 

Judge his behavior for a few days or weeks and then react accordingly.

Tries to be personal with you.

If he is about to open up to you, then he might try to make you take the first move. How could he do it? By becoming personal with you. Like:

  • He will take an interest in your daily activities.
  • He will ask personal questions.
  • He will be interested in your personal life decisions, etc.

If you found this in your boy, he is close to opening with you. 🙂

See his future with you.

He is planning his goals with you, which is another sign he is ready to open up to you.

If you both are in the same class, he would be discussing with you what he is willing to do after college with you. He will be interested in starting his professional life with you.

We only want someone for our future whom we like the most. 🙂

He introduces you to his friends and family.

Why would he want to introduce a girl to his family or friends? He is serious about her. 🙂

It is a clear sign he has chosen you and sees his future with you. Spend more time with him, hang out with him, and you both will be on the journey to becoming soulmates. 💚

Signs he is ready to open up to you - infograph by relationcounseling.org
all signs in one picture.

Conclusion

Making a guy open is hard but not impossible. With some care, love, and emotional bond, you can make a man open up to you.

You need to be a little judging to know if he is serious about you and if he sees his future in you. If you found positive signs, you can also take the first move.

So, now, you know the science of how to get him to open up. Be confident, and have a great life ahead.

Your opinion is our union! 💕


References:
  1. https://caps.umich.edu/article/why-some-men-dont-talk []
  2. https://thriveworks.com/blog/why-are-men-less-likely-to-talk-about-their-feelings/ []
  3. https://hbswk.hbs.edu/item/how-gender-stereotypes-less-than-br-greater-than-kill-a-woman-s-less-than-br-greater-than-self-confidence []
  4. Emslie C, Hunt K. The weaker gender? Exploring lay understandings of gender differences in life expectancy: a qualitative study. Soc Sci Med. 2008 Sep;67(5):808-16. []
  5. https://ccaps.umn.edu/esl-resources/students/speaking/conversations []
  6. https://inovasi.upi.edu/2021/12/06/symptoms-he-desires-more-than-a-everyday-friendship/ []
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Usman Hussain

Usman started his relationship back in July 2012. After many ups and downs, on 13 December 2020, he married the same girl. With 10+ years of a happy relationship, he knows how a relationship works, and the keys to happy relations. read more

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