How to recover from a breakup quickly? (20 Steps For Guys!)

Surviving a breakup in a relationship is a painful thing. Emotionally, it is an unpleasant process in our lives.

It becomes difficult to survive without her, without whom you were not ready to breathe. It is a staunch fact that life does not remain as before after the breakup with your girlfriend.

Usually, people are not well equipped to handle breakups because we are hardly taught anything about healthy coping after a breakup. This article provides useful strategies to tackle your breakup in the healthiest manner possible.

Utilizing these suggestions will not only lessen your pain of break up but will also be helpful to deal with the grieving process. Furthermore, it will help you in healing and moving on.

How to recover from a breakup Quickly? 20 Steps guide for guys by RelationCounseling.Org

1) Don’t break out a battle with your feelings.

A breakup is usually supported by a wide mixture of influential and negative feelings, including sadness, sorrow, anger, confusion, restlessness, jealousy, fear, anxiety, and regret, to mention a few. 

If you attempt to ignore or repress these feelings, you will likely only increase the natural grieving process and occasionally get stuck in it. 

Here, healthy and active coping means both knowing these feelings and allowing ourselves to experience these particular feelings. 

As too difficult as it is, you cannot avert the pain and pathos of loss, but understand that by experiencing these feelings, they will lessen over time and you would speed up the grieving process. 

The phases of grieving often include shock, bargaining, anger, pessimism, and finally, acceptance. Severe grief feels like it would last forever, but actually, it’s not if we cope in some healthy and active ways.

Various conditions would likely intensify your negative sentiments, including:

✍ Not being the one who is supposed to break up.
✍ Not seeing the breakup coming.
✍ It was your first serious relationship.
✍ Your ex was your only real close friend and chum.
✍ Beginning again to run into your ex.
✍ That relationship had made you feel real or complete.
✍ Your ex has started a relationship with someone right away.
✍ Supposing about your ex being sexual with her new partner.
✍ Believing ex-girlfriend is the only one in the world for you.

Whatever you feel, just believe that is natural. Only he knows the pain and pathos who suffer from it.

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So, first, don’t try to console yourself. Instead, let the emotions run as they want to run. The only thing to remember is to let the time pass with patience.

2) Candidly discuss your feelings.

Related to breaking up, telling about your emotions is an equally influential tool to manage them. As we speak to family and close friends, we can come to some new understandings and get some of our pain relieved.

Carrying these negative does not work, although there can be moments when this is essential, like in public sittings, in class, or at work. 

As we negotiate with others, we usually find our feelings are ordinary and that rest of the people have survived these feelings.

to recover from a breakup, candidly discuss your feelings
to recover from a breakup, candidly discuss your feelings

Discussing yourself with near and dear ones also helps in getting catharsis, which is the purgation of emotions and leads to some relief.

Above all else, don’t try to separate yourself from the people who can support you. 

Isolation is never a solution to suffering. 

You have to kill the sorrows with the whip of entertainment. And entertainment can’t be found in isolation. The more you isolate yourself, the more the grief gets stronger. 

To tackle it, you have to step out of your hiding. 

So from now, just throw the blanket away and don’t wet the pillow. What we recommend is to take a step out. The rest of the things will do the good by themselves. 

Come on boy, the whole jubilant world is there for you with its open arms.

3) Pen down your thoughts and emotions.

In addition to discussing with others, it would be precious if you journal your thoughts plus emotions that are related to the breakup. You know, people are not always accessible when you want to get out of your feelings. 

Furthermore, we admit that some emotions or thoughts can be too private to feel safe sharing with the rest of the people. This activity of writing down your emotions can be freeing and it can deliver you a unique perspective about them.

Though it looks awkward yet it would prove handy in privately overcoming the grief.

4) Be realistic.

Try to realize that breakups are usually an impending part of the relationship.

Tell yourself that various dating connections will come out in a breakup. It is the relative nature of dating and no one can neglect it. Until we discover our promising match, we keep pushing in and out of different relationships, so expect it. 

In this way, we would not feel so devastated and dejected if it happened. Usually, relationships end for some reasonable reasons and they should end too if we want to find our most desirable partner. 

Finding a perfect loving partner takes many datings
Finding a perfect loving partner takes many datings

Of course, there is no flickering about the fact that no match would be perfect and we have to determine the duration to continue looking.

Finding a perfect loving partner takes many datings.

We have to lose someone to have the perfect one for us. If you hold tightly to the lost one, there are no chances to create room for the best one who is somewhere waiting for us. 

So boy, don’t forget, the world loves the beaming faces but not the sad ones.

5) Do not personalize the loss.

It comes naturally after a breakup to criticize and blame yourself, but here what you need is to try not to personalize the loss for too long. 

Most of the suffering of a breakup comes from detecting the loss as your drawback and regretting the options you made while you were in the relationship. 

This process of blaming yourself can go on a long way if you just let it.

It is far more valuable to see the conclusion as a result of clashing needs and incompatibilities that are no one’s drawbacks. Each person who is in a relationship tries to get his own needs met, while some couples can help accomplish each other’s needs and others do not. 

The biggest problem is to be able to express and negotiate those needs. It’s not convenient to learn, so just stop blaming yourself and also try not to blame your ex. 

She is likely also doing the best she can, given her personality and history of life. No one moves into a relationship to make it fail or hurt the feelings of another person.

6) Give priority to basic self-care.

You are fairly a handsome guy. 

With an awkward shave and undressed hair, you are doing injustice to yourself. If you are not happy, nature isn’t happy with you. Nature produced you in the most beautiful shape and you have no right to ruin that.

Come on handsome guy, take some care of yourself.

You know, self-care refers to assuring that your fundamental needs are being met, even if you are feeling disturbed and having depression because of the breakup . You will not get feeling like eating or drinking, but try to do it anyway, and also try to make some healthful selections in what you eat. 

Give priority to basic self-care is the key to recover from a breakup
Give priority to basic self-care is the key to recover from a breakup

Provide yourself with sufficient time to sleep, especially since this can be challenging for you. 

The short-term usage of some herbal alternatives for sleep can be helpful to assure you are getting the required sleep. 

Deprivation of sleep will only worsen your pain. Keeping up and starting a workout routine would feel you better in both ways, physically and mentally.

Remember, it works out that it causes the discharge of endorphins, which helps you to feel better.

7) Get back into the routine.

Going through a breakup can develop a sense of chaos in various sections of your life, so beginning again with your routines would give you a better understanding of normalcy and stability.

Taking some of the assumptions off yourself temporarily can assist yield to routines soon after the first blow. It can relax you and provide you with a returning control sense. 

It might contain routines around wake-ups and bedtimes, school or work-related actions, exercise, meals, and time with others, to point out a few in this regard.

8) Try to indulge yourself.

Listen, boy, after the breakup, you should do the things that may vigorously make you feel better. This satisfaction can take many aspects as:

✍ Going to a different restaurant.
✍ To go to watch a picture with your friend.
✍ Having a hot or cool bath according to temperature.
✍ Going on a short outing.
✍ Purchasing something new that is special for you.
✍ Bunking the work or taking the weekend off.
✍ Getting a yoga class or even enjoying reading one of your favorite books.

There are various means to indulge yourself. The only thing is to get initiative toward the routine. Once you get started, rest will do it by itself.

9) Slacken yourself.

We know that you are not going to be working at the full ability for a time because of the discomfort that you are experiencing. 

Therefore, it will not be unreasonable to lessen your burden for a while. It might suggest you halt from studying for a brief while or studying less than your usual routine. 

It can also suggest withdrawing yourself if you are struggling or even performing a lot short in your part-time career for a short while. 

Though these possibilities may sound intense in your point of view yet, they can provide you extra time to process your loss adequately. 

It may also suggest that your grades would come down a bit, but here you should not assess yourself for this.

10) Be optimistic about people and relationships.

As you are feeling very hurt and depressed after your breakup, so it is natural to determine that all people, especially girls, are bad and questionable, but it is not true. 

By carrying on to this notion, you will be withholding yourself all sorts of chances for a great relationship shortly. We can not over-generalize from little relationship past and can not determine it is not going to work again. Keep shopping, dear lad! 

The more you meet the people, the greater the chances are you would find your best match.

Life is all about experiments. If one did not bring joy to you, it does not mean that you should not offer the opportunity to the best ones.

11) Let go of the hope you’ll get back together.

As there is no possibility that your ex will reunite with you, so try to let go of this slight possibility. Giving rise to closure to the relationship becomes impossible if you persist in clenching the hope that the relationship would be reawakened. 

It means that you should not wait for the phone call or text. You should not even try to e-mail or text her. 

Let go of the hope you’ll get back together
Let go of the hope you’ll get back together

If you will try to have a little more relation or will plead with her to get back, it will only immortalize your emotional distress and pain. It will do nothing good except make you come across as desperate, which can further affect your already devastated self-esteem.

Keep in mind that life is limited to waiting for her to get back to you after the breakup.

12) Don’t expect anything from her.

It will not be practical to depend on an ex-girlfriend after the breakup. Especially, she can never help overcome the sufferings of the breakup.

If you will try to beg help from her in the recovery after your break up, it would mean to get stung by the same snake to get recovered that is already the reason for suffering. 

After a considerable period of no contact, a friendship with her might be possible, but we shall not recommend it. We can’t see you in pain again and again.

13) Stay away from unreasoning counseling.

There are various ways of coping with a breakup that is assessed as quite unhelpful and will likely do nothing good except compounding your difficulties. 

These include avoiding eating, lying in isolation, or trying to be indifferent to the world by using unfair means. 

You may be persuaded to do for yourself anything you can to avert the feelings of loneliness and discomfort, but it is important to find out some healthier ways to cope.

14) List out your Ex’s annoying traits.

If you have been feeling guilty because you keep on thinking about how much you miss your girlfriend or even you recall how well you were suited to her, it can be valuable to list out of all of her less endearing traits. 

Especially if you did not begin the breakup, it’s easy to concentrate on the notion that it is she who was at fault but not you. It is she who lost the gem-like you. 

List out your Ex’s annoying traits to forget her
List out your Ex’s annoying traits to forget her

You are not at a loss at all. You will find gold to be fitted in as a diamond, just waiting for the time. But first, make yourself acknowledge that she was just past and past can’t be brought back.

Furthermore, if you would spend some time pondering, you might come to discover incompatibilities in your relationship that makes it convenient to let come to recognize that there is possible a better one somewhere for you.

15) Prevent the temptation of taking revenge.

The notion of retaliating against an individual you feel may have damaged your feelings considerably is very appealing, but making such choices certainly has unforeseen outcomes.

You are a good guy, and you need to stay good forever. Life was not only with her. With her was just a part of life that has passed. You still own long life. Your long life should be with the one who deserves you. 

So just stay away from negative ideas like keying her car, stalking her, or shouting at her in your height of passion. It will only make you feel out of control.

Just believe she is no more for you in this world, and that’s all.

16) Just learn don’t stuff in the relationship.

We can learn a bunch from all the relationships we have been in, especially from painful ones. It is always valuable after a connection ends to consume some time thinking about and writing that down what you have understood and learned. 

It helps to have a better relationship in the future. So do not take it as an opportunity to whip yourself up or criticize yourself for the relationship not surviving. 

Just learn don’t stuff in the relationship
Just learn don’t stuff in the relationship

Remember, it is the learning that promotes growth, while self-blame only enlarges your suffering.

So consider this breakup an experience and move on.

It is said that you have just to embark on a new journey. Thousands of trees are willing to provide you shade in your route.

17) List out all the advantages of being single.

After enjoying the relationship, being single again can be an unpleasant event, in case you were not the one who wanted to break up. It is worth recollecting yourself there are definite advantages to being single. 

Here we have listed out a few indications to get you started:

✍ Now, you are much more prepared to settle your own needs first.
✍ Soon, you will have the passion of dating again, even though this may feel a little scary and crazy at the moment.
✍ Now, you will have better command over your routines, as you don’t have to consult everything with someone else.
✍ Now, you are able to consume extra time with your buddies and family, who may have been feeling neglected while you were in a relationship.
✍ Now, you travel anywhere you want, which you might not able to do while in a relationship.
✍ You are in a position to choose jobs outside of the immediate district because now your girlfriend is not involving your choices.
✍ You can visit the restaurants you like and can eat what you want even when you want to.
✍ There is no one to disrupt you as you can go to bed and wake up on your schedule.
✍ Now you have all the opportunities will to meet many new people since now you have more time to do so.
✍ Now, you may be free of criticism.
✍You possess much more individual freedom now, which is not less than a blessing.
✍ If you may know, you now possess more time to study.
✍ Above all, now you can be as messy as you want.

18) Accomplish the closure ritual.

In your process of letting go and mourning the loss, having a closure ritual can be very valuable. This symbolic movement can be very significant if it is adequately thought out and considered at the right timing. 

It can include such things as writing a letter to yourself or your ex-girlfriend with your last words related to the relationship, 

eliminating all of the photos you possess of your ex-girlfriend or burning some reminders of her ceremonially.

19) Remember, healing is inside you.

It is significant after a breakup to remember that you were eligible to survive on your own before entering the relationship and you will definitely be proficient enough to survive on your own when you are no longer with her. 

Remember, relationships do not make us whole and they should not too. They are a part of our lives and our happiness, but they themselves are not our lives. We should be able to survive for ourselves and fulfill our needs, regardless of the importance of our relationships. 

It is noteworthy that the healthiest relationships are with those two people who can fulfill their own needs.

20) Take a strange decision.

Although it is always difficult to decide when the reasonable time to date again is, do not jump right back in and do not keep waiting forever. 

You should not mourn the loss rather, try to discover what you can discover from the past relationship. You must move on to heal yourself, which simply means beginning to date again.

Here, one thing to keep in mind is not to take the new relationship seriously. At first, taking the new date more casual would be wise. 

Take a strange decision for recovering from a breakup
Take a strange decision for recovering from a breakup

Now don’t try to jump right into a profound, meaningful, long-term relationship.

Dating would enable you to see that there are many possible relations out there. The only condition is to open yourself up to this possibility and as you find it, welcome with open arms. More dating will mean rapid healing of the previous breakup. 

There are chances that by this means you would become content with living your life without a girlfriend. Some individuals can be content in relationships with just friends and family, but most people want more than this to feel thoroughly fulfilled.

These were some suggestions for you and we have staunch hope that even after reading this, your would have been alleviated to some extent. When you would utilize these tips, you will find the healing process working more fastly.

Continue Reading: How to be a better boyfriend?
Continue Reading: How to win her back


Are you feeling empty after the breakup? This guide will let you improve yourself after a breakup. This guide is especially dedicated to heartbroken guys!

I know recovering from a breakup is not easy, but the 20 steps mentioned above will let you heal quickly. 

In the end, I recommend having dedication and strong willpower that you have to recover yourself; there is a whole life in front of you. To improve your willpower, start working out daily.

I wish you all the best; if you need to discuss anything further, message us at: [email protected]

Your opinion is our union! 💕


Usman started his relationship back in July 2012. After many ups and downs, on 13 December 2020, he married the same girl. With 10+ years of a happy relationship, he knows how a relationship works, and the keys to happy relations. read more


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