In this material world, the companionship of a mature husband is significant for every wife. Though females can do all that men can’t do yet physically and mentally strong, the husband is the need of every woman.
But certain wives are dealing with childlike husbands.
They act like children and double the problems of wives. It sounds dumb, but actually; it is vulnerable behavior and can’t be justified. To a man, childlike responses and behaviors are fun or habitual, but to deal with them is difficult.
There are usually two reasons behind this sort of case in which one’s husband acts like a child.
1) Habitual (Peter Pan Syndrome).
2) Psychological disorder.
Some men take life for granted and do everything just for fun. Their only motive is to eat, drink and be merry. The rest of everything may go to hell, they have no concern about it.
They pretend to be brave, but actually, they are cowards. By this jolly philosophy of life, they get an escape from the responsibilities of life.
It is just a habit and can be cured by proper counseling.
If they have prepared themselves for the escape from responsibilities, they can also be prepared to take the responsibilities.
Read more about Peter Pan Syndrome .
Unfair treatment during childhood and the irresponsible attitude of parents are the main reasons for psychological disorders . Guys who suffer from this are pitiable. They must be understood.
They don’t behave like children willingly; instead, they do so because of psychological disorders. By understanding them fully and sketching out a counseling process for them, they can be cured.
These people are helpless and they need more affection, love, and care so that they may come back to their natural mental adulthood.
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Domestic Help. ⚠️
If the relationship has become vulnerable and you are facing incessant verbal and physical abuse, it will be appropriate to seek domestic violence support. Visit this page for the national domestic violence hotline to tackle abusive behavior.
How to get rid of the husband’s childish behavior?
Regarding both of the reasons, I have the following suggestions for you. These suggestions, if utilized, will help your husband to overcome his childish behavior.
1) Make him present.
He will not respond to you better if he is dozing at the wheel. It is essential to wake him up and become completely attentive and present to everything that is happening both in the house and outside the world.
If you don’t alter or are aware of him, he would quickly slip into the habitual harmful ways of responding. Making him present may not respond to him easily, but it would put him in the driver’s seat and it is what you want him to do.
So ask him to think about the key moments. Also, involve him in triggering moments or events. But keep in mind, it will take a little time. It will be a little challenging in its initial stage, but you have to repeat it daily on him.
Also, note what his reactions are to trigger events. Observe minutely the sort of thoughts he is having about those events. Try to discover his feelings. Pay attention that what does he do when he is asked to pay attention.
2) Bring back his adult feelings and powers.
Making him present in certain situations would bring back his adult feelings and powers. In this way, he would start feeling happy or miserable. It all depends on events and his approach to those particular events.
While putting him in a difficult situation, ask him to check his confidence level. Ask him to make choices about different things. It all takes place in the current moment, not in the earlier or future.
Being present in the moment would be a gateway to changing him emotionally and in making him mentally mature.
3) Mention the realities of life.
Perhaps are trying this before. If you have been, that’s good. Our recommendation is to be more consistent about it.
You know, the reality is all about “what is” or “the particular way in which things are.” It happens independently of opinions about it. The fact remains in its original place: either you embrace reality or find peace.
Another way is to resist it or experience pain or frustration.
These realities form the boundaries or the parameters within which one lives and makes choices daily.
It is not to say that realities can not be changed. Some can be changed and others can’t. But at this moment, which is the only moment that is real, admit that which is, is. It is necessary to accept than fight for the realities of life.
4) Ownership and responsibility.
The reality is to make him the owner of his things and make him responsible for the things. Being aware of the realities of life would compel him to change himself.
It is the irresponsible attitude toward life that makes one immature and on the other hand; it is a sense of responsibility that makes mature.
So making him mentally mature, you have to produce in him a sense of responsibility. He should not get any chance to be free from the fixes of life.
Also, stop saying that you can not do it. I shall handle it myself. It will make him more careless which would lead to the utmost immature attitude.
To take him the mature man, throw the ball of life into his court and ask him to play himself.
In the early stage, he would make mistakes, but you should keep your head cool because, having childish nature, he would make mistakes. His mistakes and uncomfortable feelings about things and people would give him some sort of power.
But how to use this power will again take some time. Here we have an example of how to make him an owner.
If you are worried about finances, ask him to sit with you and ponder over the problem.
Here, utilize your skills of acting and pretend to be worried. Your motive should be to produce some sort of tension for him. This tension would help him in making him the owner.
By taking ownership of the responsibility, he would try to make things smooth. His try to change things would be your success in making him mature.
Maybe giving him some shocks would bring change in his childish nature. Apply these recommendations continuously as these would render you great fruit.
5) Make him exercise responsibility.
Some of the things regarding this point have been discussed in the previous heading, while some will be clarified here.
Thinking, feeling, and taking action are the parts of responsibility. The quality of life depends on the capacity to make sound choices. Choices consist of the best self and within the long-term best interest.
It happens that if one is not performing appropriately, we abruptly come up and say, “let it as it is; you can not do it. I shall tackle it myself.”
It is not healthy behavior when you wish to make him mature. Give him responsibility. He is coming up to that responsibility, or not it is not a matter. The matter is, he should be rendered with responsibility.
Usually, personal experiences, the results, and the results that we get in life are influenced, not determined, by circumstances, events, and the rest of the people.
Between an occasion and reaction is a time in which it is decided whether to surrender, control, react automatically or interrupt a negative pattern. This moment is the key to making him responsible.
If you will keep believing that he will act like a child or he will not take responsibility, it would not work for you. Give him responsibility by expecting that in the start, he will not tackle with. It will be a step forward in eliminating his childish behavior.
So again, think about the key moment that what choices were made and what the results were. Examine the outcomes and give him more responsibility to tackle the issue.
6) Clarify his vision to him.
What do you want from him? What is most important to both of you?
Be clear and also make him clear about the vision. He should be realized that his life is not just his. More people are connected to him. His immature behavior affects them too.
Thus making him clear about your vision, his vision will be clear to him. It will also give him motivation and incentive to perform perfect choices when he would be there in key moments.
It is always pleasant to follow the route of least opposition or act out opposing emotions.
By clearing his vision, you clear the route for his approach. He can smoothly figure out what is expected from him and what is the need of the hour.
He will stop immediate gratification and would start exercising the practice to make a positive and good change.
7) All above with pills of love.
Above mentioned suggestions are the route to make your husband mature and to make him detain his childish act. All the suggestions are effective in their way.
But to add to their effectiveness, mix the dose of love while applying them. Avoid overdose. Where you find it appropriate, act as an iron lady. But most of the time, you should render love while dealing with that adult child.
So our recommendation is to be polite, and avoid an emotional attitude handle him sensibly. Considering him a psychological issue would also console your ego.
Everyone wants a happy and healthy relationship, but sometimes the husband’s childish behavior ruins a healthy relationship. He might be doing so because of his nature or any disorder; we need to handle this!
Before finding a solution, we first need to understand the reason for child-like behavior; he might be doing so to make you happy!
After figuring out the actual reason, over the above seven tips will assist you in learning how to deal with your husband’s childish behavior by avoiding the chances of having an unhealthy relationship.
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