If you don’t matter to your husband, it matters and matters to a large extent.
You are not household stuff for material function. You are the other half of his whole. You deserve to be contemplated in all the senses of the world.
If at present you are forbearing, it does not mean things should carry on like it. They need to be changed and they should be changed.
Married women understand how, skillfully, to construct the kind of loving course of life they strive for. They have grasped the magic of tickling a man so keenly that he craves to be more—he wishes to be better.
And you too possess the raw material to do the same for the place where he would consider, yes, my wife matters.
We believe that in the course of life, the importance of spouses to each other is like fuel in the vehicle of life.
If one is being ignored by the other, the vehicle can’t cover the distance.
If the husband is important in a masculine sense, the wife has a crucial role in household affairs and financial support.
Spouses are fertile land to each other where plants of gentleness, compassion, kindness, understanding, and companionship grow with the fertilizer of love and care.
In partnership, men can do the work of men while women can do all those things that men can’t. So both are correlated to each other.
In case, the husband starts to treat his wife in a manner that she does not matter is not a behavior to be justified. Even it can’t be rationalized in any sense of morality and civilization.
She is the most important pillar in the building of the house.
She deserves to be given importance. In case, she is not getting that much importance, the man, on his own, can’t run the business of life.
As the husband and the wife are two pillars of the house, if one is not accepting the role of the other, it’s not fair.
Furthermore, it can’t work too. The other has to make first realize that it is also sharing the burden of the roof.
In your case, in which your husband is treating you like an unimportant object, we recommend you the following steps to gain your importance and make your husband realize that you matter and matter to the full extent.
This guidance would further assist you in making your spouse crazy for you.
What to do if my husband treats me like I don’t matter?
These points are also valuable in becoming your husband’s beloved wife.
1) Identification and utilization of feminine traits.
Besides being the man your spouse is, the love that brings both of you closed, and also the oath that you took on the day of your wedding. 1
You possess another trait in your personality. Be ensured, being a woman, you can mold your husband in the way you seek.
Being a married woman, you have all the rights to be mattered to your husband.
Without oddity, happily married women acknowledge that their feminine traits are certainly a means of strength, resilience, and influence within the marriage, and they utilize their femininity to reap the most out of their relationship with their husbands.
Studies reveal that usually women possess different brains as compared to men, and these brains are acted on by a distinct arrangement of hormones.
Most of females possess a more attuned sense of emotional connectedness; they are in a better position to reflect on their emotions and have a rather highly emotional and sensitive approach to solve the riddles of life.
These are women who have an incredible ability to nurture, backing, support, and strengthen others. There is not to the exclusion of obtaining their desires met, but in a collective way, they draw out the best traits in their husbands.
So we want you to know your feminine strengths to the full extent and use them in a way that may bring you the fruit.
Related: How to make my husband feel special
2) Analyze his indifference and gruffness.
You need to recollect that from where his indifference and gruffness started. There are chances that an unpleasant discussion was the reason, or even a terrible incident became the medium to pave the way toward his dryness toward you. 2
If he was not used to being like it as he is now, the priority should be to detect the reason. Detecting the reason is half the solution to the problem.
For human beings, it is natural, they pretend to ignore the behaviors, but actually, they don’t. They just store them somewhere there in their minds and, for them, minds possess the limited room.
As the overflow one shouts back and taunts with all those behaviors whom he had pretended to ignore. A sudden burst up is an example of this complex.
In your case, chances are so he is having some misunderstanding about you.
Here it is required to find out the reason or reasons and when you get assured about them, create a room for pleasant dialogue and make him realize that you are not all that he thinks rather you acknowledge the drawback and possess love and care for him.
3) Put aside your ego.
In most of the misunderstandings between wife and husband, it is only the ego that creates hindrance in the way of jubilant life.
Usually, such types of people try to defend their self-esteem by the feed of ego. They succeeded, but it costs their relationship. In the end, they have a towering ego but no emotional bond with their partner.
4) Acquire some novelty in you.
Above mentioned point is all about possibilities, but the actual starting point is here. 4
Men always expect and love novelty. Even in their wives, they keep wanting positive and sensual changes. If one’s spouse is having or doing something unique, he can’t help living without admiring.
Even if he does not do it by the tongue, he will have admiration in mind. So having novelty in you would compel him to notice you. And if he starts noticing, it means you start to matter.
5) Maintain physique.
Usually, maintenance of physique loses its priority among married women. They don’t give preference to their physical beauty rather, they try to compensate for it by wearing makeup on their faces.
If you think that beauty is about the face, you are wrong.
Only 20 percent of beauty is about the face. And physique possesses 50 percent of beauty. So to crave him make curves in your body and thus, having a sensual figure, you are sure to be mattered.
6) Sweetness under the tongue.
In the last point, we mentioned that 20 percent of beauty is about the face while 50 percent is about the physique. Here is the rest of thirty percent. It is about the sweetness of the tongue.
Nobody likes rude people.
If you have been dealing with rude behavior, just stop it at once.
There are possibilities that it is the primary cause of his negligence toward you.
Often rude and harsh people don’t admit that they are rude and harsh.
If you are among them or you are auspicious whether you dealt in rude behavior not, then record your voice on different occasions while negotiating with others, especially with your husband. It would help you justify your stance.
Courteous people find more attention and are loved and liked by others.
7) Consider him one among your kids.
Considering him one among your kids would console your ego in case you possess. 5
It is said if there is a hell in this world, it is our expectations toward others. If not fulfilled, we start getting burnt in that hell. So in the start to avoid having expectations would be a better option.
While dealing with kids, we don’t have lots of expectations that they would render us back. We do each and everything for them, considering it our love and duty toward them.
From them, we only expect to be happy and prosperous in their lives.
While performing our duties to them, we possess little hope to be paid back for our services.
This bend of mind you need to acquire at the start while seeking your husband’s attention.
So from now onwards, start giving him attention and taking his care without any sort of expectations. Soon he would get notice of your kind and caring behavior and probably would be ashamed of his own.
8) Cook delicious foods.
It is well said that the road to the heart leads through the stomach.
So the sentence is enough to understand how delicious food can be helpful and handy in making your husband happy and getting his attention.
If you are good at cooking, it’s good if not then be an expert at least in one or two dishes that are his favorite.
If you get an expert in cooking, it is the guarantee that he would stop eating outside and would hurry to come back home to have the meal made of your hands.
If he is in a hurry to have the meal cooked by your hand, it means you matter and that’s what you want.
9) Acknowledge and embrace the flaws of your spouse.
You need to accept that like other human beings, he is not perfect too. There are lots of things for him to work on as for as his character traits are concerned. Be assured that your spouse is an important person to you same is the case with your love for him.
Remember, flaws and drawbacks are temporary, while love and importance are permanent.
Accept him with his flaws, then burn him in the kiln of love to make him flawless and to make him as perfect as you want. It’s not up to him to be perfect, it’s up to you how you mold him to perfection.
10) Give him a bit of space.
Being clung too much in relations makes us bored and tense. We all need to understand the importance of one’s room. It means a little of space with full relaxation.
We all require a break at times. We all need to understand the other’s situations. Occasionally, the daily functioning of life bores us to the level of depression. In such a case, we don’t understand what to do but to have a break from everything.
If we do so, it works, and we get refreshed. So in your case, you require to offer him a short space after applying enough of the above-mentioned suggestions.
We don’t know the importance of those who we possess. We know the importance of those of which we lack. So giving him everything and then a little of space would make him feel that you matter.
Related: how to give your husband space
11) Have intimacy instead of formality.
Conflicts among partners are often because of a lack of intimacy. They do the tasks for each other being formal and take the relation granted.
Promoting intimacy and broadness of views would relax your spouse and would start feeling comfortable with you. So from now to so on, stop being formal and be the first to introduce intimacy between you.
You should start it with the belief that soon he would also assist being considering you his friend.
Have clear and constant communication.
If you are lacking communication, it could be because of ironic and taunt tones. You need to be clear and fair in your communication.
Start with those topics that are easy for him to answer.
It would encourage him that nothing is annoying and scary while having a discussion with you.
Here sweetness and mellowness in your tone will also matter in making you matter for him.
You should also avoid attitude while negotiating with your spouse. As you are partners, attitude should not occupy space between you people.
12) Think above mediocre people.
By the above-mentioned points, don’t consider yourself inferior. Think above the mediocre people who possess the attitude and ruin the relations. Life is not the game of inferiority or superiority.
Here nobody is others, servant or maid. Everybody does one’s job to make them happy. So everything that we proposed you do is just for your happiness and blessed life.
You are not going to do things for him, rather for yourself. Making you matter to him makes you joyful, not him. It is your priority, so you are doing it all for yourself.
Domestic Help. ⚠️
If the relationship has become vulnerable and you are facing incessant verbal and physical abuse it will be appropriate to seek domestic violence support. Visit this page for the national domestic violence hotline to tackle abusive behavior.
I can understand your situation. When husbands don’t treat their wives, it hurts. Psychologically, they are making a situation in which wives get depressed from the inside, which is a sign of toxic relationships.
But, do not worry, relationcounseling.org is here to assist you.
I believe that after working on the above recommendations, your happiness is going to double.
My best wishes are for you, stay happy.
Your opinion is our union! 💕
- Leire Gartzia, Josune Baniandrés, How Feminine is the Female Advantage?, Journal of Business Research, Volume 99, 2019, ISSN 0148-2963.
- Meltzer AL, McNulty JK. Body image and marital satisfaction: evidence for the mediating role of sexual frequency and sexual satisfaction. J Fam Psychol. 2010 Apr;24(2):156-64.