Your girlfriend hates you because she has lost emotional and physical interest in you. She is no longer captivated by your walks and talks. Her negative perception of you is the big cause of her hate for you. Whether she is justified in her stance of negative perception or not is the latter stuff to be discussed.
Research says that those spouses who end up with bitter hate once had deep emotions of love for each other. 1
How did you conclude that your girlfriend hates you? By some significant signs? Yes, it’s a way to check out whether she hates you or not. Some of them are the following.
Signs Your Girlfriend Hates You.
Her disrespectful and taunting tone, getting angry and sometimes even furious on small things, not communicating properly, her carelessness for you, her visible rudeness, everyday disputes, and avoiding physical intimacy are the sure signs that your girlfriend hates you.
1) Disrespectful While Speaking.
The sweetness of the tongue is for those whom you love and care about. Those who are close to our hearts find our respect in all the departments of daily life.
When the hearts are fed up, the first change is to be caught and glimpsed, is the way of communication.
If your girlfriend hates you, she will disrespectfully address you. It’s humans’ basic instinct to be polite with those who are loved ones while being disrespectful to those who are hateable.
If you have been noticing her continuous disrespectful2 and arrogant attitude towards you, it is a sure sign she hates you.
2) Getting Angry And Exhausted Quickly.
Those who occupy the love room in our hearts and minds are sweethearts to us in all conditions. We tend to overlook their drawbacks and even their demerits become merits to us.
But those who fell from our hearts face criticism even over tiny things. The same is the case with you.
Your girlfriend gets irritated with everything that you do. She can’t keep her head cool and gets angry immediately. As she starts with criticism, with its flow, she exhausts herself quickly.
3) Poor Communication.
In the early stage of her hatred towards you, she will take long pauses in communication. Then she will come with more taunts and less appreciation. In the end, she will be all roasted to you.
She will be mad at you and will not bother where and in front of whom she is insulting you. It’s the peak of her hate that will devastate the relationship.
4) Her Dominant Carelessness For You.
You can feel a complete change in her caring nature for you. What you are doing, what’s important to you, in which areas you need her desperately, she has nothing to do with it. What is dominant, is her carelessness about your person and the rest of the affairs of daily functioning.
She is unhappy with you and possesses no empathy for you. In her negative feelings, she will blame you for those things that don’t even exist.
How you feel, what is your emotional state, what you need, she will ignore everything. These things will be when she is at her peak of hatred for you.
5) Bursting Up and Lame Excuses.
As you catch her up, you will notice a sudden undesirable change in her behavior. In the early and happy stage of your relationship, she used to be excited when you joined her.
But now, as you accompany her, she makes lame excuses and assures you that she has other schedules so she can’t spend time with you. If you insist, she will be all angry and even will not bother that she is bursting up on you for no reason.
She will not spend time with you, and in her frustration makes you feel bad about everything.
6) Her complaint stuff.
Girls who are fed up with their boyfriends possess many complaints about them. It is a dominant sign that she will not only complain to you about your behavior but also tell others, especially her friends, that she is unhappy with you.
Being isolated, she will try to make you feel guilty and it will be her keen desire to make you apologize.
While having complaints about you, you will also notice her personality disorder as she will lack self-compassion.
7) Lack Of Self-Care.
It is also a warning sign that she will stop caring for herself if she has problems with you. She will be careless about her feminine beauty and will not dress up to fascinate your aesthetic sense.
Being alone she will make the relationship unpleasant, which will lead to an emotionally abusive and unhealthy relationship. If she has a crush on some other guy, you will notice contrary to it as she will try to look more pretty than ever.
In her friends’ circle, you will notice some changes regarding her new interests.
8) Lack Of Physical Intimacy.
Physical intimacy is the communication of emotions when there is true love. Its absence creates distancing that reaches to hate for each other.
As she is passive aggressive , she will have no interest in physical intimacy.
Even if she gets ready for it, you will feel her dullness during romantic times as she will be emotionless. It will hurt you to the next level and maybe you will not be able to feel normal after this cold intimacy of hers.
9) Verbal Abuse.
Verbal abuse of your girlfriend is also a sure sign that you are no more in her good books. In hatred for you, she will even self-harm. You will also notice her changed behavior with the rest of the common members of your group.
But it is only you who will be at her hot triggers.
She will hurt you, again and again, she will make you feel guilty, she will blame you, and in her hot temper, she will be all yelling and humiliating you. She will try her best to create distance at any cost or even to break up with you.
Causes – Why does my Girlfriend hate me?
Your nagging, belittling, criticism, incredulous nature, bad dealings in the past, over-attention to work, irresponsibility to love affairs, and cheating on her can be the causes of your GF’s hate for you.
Nagging in relationships can be intentional and unintentional. Guys usually don’t take everything seriously and expect their girlfriends to understand them on their own.
There are chances you have been unconsciously making your girlfriend a victim of your nagging in the past.
You have been repeatedly assuring her about her duties with the impression that she is not good enough to deal with. There is a possibility she did not react to this unliked act of yours, but somewhere inside her, she has been making piles of loathing which are now visible in her behavior.
Have you been suffering from a superiority complex ? Have you been assuring your girlfriend that she is unimportant or inferior to you?
Perhaps you have not been saying so intentionally, but there are chances your body language or gestures sent her a message akin to it.
She did not reveal her anger or hatred instantly rather she changed herself gradually and now she is all there denying your point of view.
3) Unnecessary Criticism and Control.
Guys being guys try to control their girlfriends by unnecessary criticism. Whether your criticism was about her personality traits or behavior, it has destroyed your relationship with your girlfriend and made you unhappy. 3
Positive feelings that she had for you are now being eroded.
The other factor for her hate towards you may be your controlling nature. Girls also want to flourish themselves. They too have dreams to make their careers. When someone interrupts, whether they are their boyfriend or father, they react only with their hate.
4) Bad Dealings in the Past.
How have you been dealing with your girlfriend in the past? It is important to ask yourself if you have been dealing with her in poor manners or even with semi-poor manners?
Be accountable to yourself and find out whether you have been a good boyfriend or not. You know, too, that it is hard to love those guys who have been treating you in unhealthy ways. To err is natural to man and apologizing or asking for forgiveness is also to the man.
Related: How to become a better boyfriend
5) Over Attention to Work.
If you have been overindulged in your official work or at school or college and did not give enough time to your relationships, it can also be the reason for your girlfriend’s hate.
Good guys try to provide their girlfriends comfort and the best things, but they neglect that they also demand good hours of happy gossip and cuddling.
If it has been so, you are right in your stance, but she is not wrong too.
6) Irresponsibility to Her Person.
If being over-responsible was a problem, then irresponsibility can also be the problem. Perhaps you have been trying to study hard or giving time to your friends or at the job or have been trying to earn dollars for a precious present to give to your GF.
All you did that was good, but you unintentionally ignored her and she took it to her heart.
In other words, she may have been craving your company, but you did not notice. She took you as indifferent to her problems and nourished a ghost of negativity in her mind about you.
A bitter pill to swallow. But there are all possibilities. You need to look at your shirt front. Girls can stand many things, but they can’t stand the infidelity of their boyfriends. Ask yourself, have you ever cheated on her? 4
If you have, then go to her and confess. Things will get heated, but ultimately you will find a soft corner of hers.
8) Her Personal Bad Experiences.
Sometimes we find issues in other areas of life that affect our love life. At work, everybody is not our friend and well-wisher. There is always a race to get positions among people. 5
By hook or crook, they want to secure more points to get a higher designation. It can hurt straightforward people and can cause irritation in them.
With this irritation, when your girlfriend joins you, you need to deal with her sensitively; otherwise, her anger will rise to the sky.
Your girlfriend’s issues in her personal life or at the workplace or school or college can be the reason that is disturbing your relationship.
9) You daydream a lot.
Girls love those guys who have great goals to achieve, and who have plans for a better future. It gives them a sense of security. A daydreamer can’t be their ideal at all, whether it is their boyfriend or sweetheart. 6
There isn’t anything bad about daydreaming unless you are completely lost in it and hardly do anything good in real life. Daydreaming makes you absent in the moment, which can irritate your girlfriend.
Maybe she has been trying to convey her feelings and concerns, but you were not present there mentally.
What to do when your girlfriend hates you?
If your girlfriend hates you, find out the reasons and then eradicate them. It will make your job done. Don’t assume things of your own rather, talk to her about your concerns.
Be polite to her by giving her a good romantic time. Present her presents off and on. Consider her your other half instead of just a girlfriend.
1) Don’t assume things; instead, talk to her.
Sometimes we just assume random things which are far away from reality. That’s why it is always a better option to discuss things with your partner. 7
There are chances she does not even hate you! Talk to her.
Do not approach directly; it may lead to complete destruction. Ask her gently that I am feeling a change in our relationship; is there anything wrong with me?
A polite discussion will lead to a solution. Talk to her at different times when she is fresh and happy. It will be a good idea for a healthy sitting discussion.
2) Give her presents.
Girls love presents and surprises. 8
More surprises can quickly melt her heart against all the misconceptions that she is having against you. Plan some surprises; it can be a candle night dinner out, a movie, or any other gift for her that she has been craving for a long time.
A few months back, one of my close friends’ girlfriend was angry with him. He gifted her earrings that she craved and finally got them as a surprise present. The results were amazing.
3) Be bold and respectful.
Being bold and respectful makes your manners sophisticated and enhances the chances of being treated with love and care. It is also valuable in getting the love of your partner. 9
Your respectful manners will occupy a room in your girlfriend’s heart, and your boldness will enchant her to a large extent.
4) Be patient and compassionate.
While having a bad time in a relationship, one loses patience. He just bursts up and loses the opportunity of reconciliation. Patience is key while you are rectifying a difficult situation. Compassion further assists us in grabbing our partner’s attention.
If she is harsh or behaves hostile, hold the shield of patience and compassion to survive her assaults. Soon, she will lose her power and come to normal functioning.
Further, she will be ashamed of her behavior, and more likely, she will apologize for it too.
Patience and compassion are antidotes to hatred.
5) Don’t try to control her; Be influential.
Don’t bother to control your girlfriend’s hatred. It is something that is never in your hands. What is in your hand is to be influential!
It is up to you how you realize to her how good you are to her, and what blessings she may have in carrying on with you as a partner.
By creating a pleasant environment, you indirectly compel her to love you.
It is said,
“you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”
Apply it to your troubled relationship. You will find this impression true.
6) Be at the backfoot.
Being at the front foot, all you possess is aggression and anger to express. She is doing the same. So what will be the result? The devastation of the relationship.
If you are here, it means you want the solution that may make things good and pleasant for both of you.
So I recommend you to be on the back foot. Being on the backfoot will help you consider the various means to convert her hate into love.
7) Develop an Emotional Intimacy Instead of Physical.
There is nothing bad in physical intimacy, but it leads to sexuality. What you need now is to have an emotional bonding with your girlfriend. If your girlfriend hates you, it means you haven’t had any physical intimacy with her for a long time. 10
Even if you can’t help surviving without being sexual, don’t be just sexual be a real romantic lover.
Guys tend to have sex while girls love romance. Keep this in mind, be romantic with her, and do not rush for sex.
Related: When a woman loses interest in a man
8) Make her believe she needs you.
It is an important step. Both the girlfriend boyfriend need one another’s efforts to develop a healthy relationship. But, now, your girlfriend has started hating you and started distancing herself from you. It is time to make her realize she needs you.
You can do it by loving her more, giving her extra time, giving her more gifts, taking her out, asking for what she likes, and sometimes by giving her some space.
9) Give Her Short Space.
When things are not getting better, give her some space. You can ask her to spend time according to her will. You can even arrange an outing for her. You can make her indulge in the company of her favorite people.
Meanwhile, your girlfriend will start missing you and your love and will feel your value in her life. But do it after giving her all your love, care, and affection.
10) Things to avoid.
The following are points to consider. These will help you to finish the various issues even before they start.
Never be suspicious and don’t try to have a look at her inbox messages.
Don’t be disrespectful to her friends and family.
Don’t forget to give her space. It will crave her to have your partnership forever.
Never be closefisted in admiration and encouragement. Whenever she looks gorgeous or dressed up with something special, be the first to admire her. Even if she secures something special in life, be there to clap for her.
Avoid show-off. Be clear and sincere. It will occupy you with her respect.
Now, you know why does my girlfriend hate me; these tips will also be beneficial for long distance relationships. We, the relationcounseling.org, are hopeful that after utilizing the recommended steps, you will soon be admired and loved by your girlfriend.
For more relationship counseling, you can also visit our site.
Your opinion is our union! 💕
- Jin Wang, Xiang Yanhui, Lei Mo. The Deeper the Love, the Deeper the Hate. Frontiers in Psychology 2017.
- University of Iowa Office of the Ombudsperson, 3/20. Examples of Disrespectful Behavior
- Louis H. Primavera, Ph.D. and Rob Pascale, Ph.D. Power and Control in Relationships. University of Touro.
- Drigotas SM, Barta W. The Cheating Heart: Scientific Explorations of Infidelity. Current Directions in Psychological Science. 2001;10(5):177-180.
- Rafaeli E, Cranford JA, Green AS, Shrout PE, Bolger N. The good and bad of relationships: how social hindrance and social support affect relationship feelings in daily life. Pers Soc Psychol Bull. 2008 Dec;34(12):1703-18.
- Yousaf, Anam & Ghayas, Saba & Rehman, Attia. (2021). R S S Association between Daydreaming and Relationships: A Phenomenological Study.
- Canevello A, Crocker J. Creating good relationships: responsiveness, relationship quality, and interpersonal goals. J Pers Soc Psychol. 2010 Jul;99(1):78-106.
- Ming-Hui Huang, Shihti Yu. Gifts in a Romantic Relationship: A Survival Analysis. Journal of Consumer Psychology. Volume 9, Issue 3.
- Frei, Jennifer & Shaver, Phillip. (2002). Respect in Close Relationships: Prototype Definition, Self-Report Assessment, and Initial Correlates. Personal Relationships. 9. 121-139.
- Yoo H, Bartle-Haring S, Day RD, Gangamma R. Couple communication, emotional and sexual intimacy, and relationship satisfaction. J Sex Marital Ther. 2014;40(4):275-93.