Why does my boyfriend hate me?! (4 Reasons & 8 Solutions)

To be in a relationship means to have love and care for your boyfriend, and also to be loved and cared for by your boyfriend.

The relationship also means sharing sorrows and joys. It is not just a physical comfort to have a boyfriend in your life. It also means to be mentally satisfied. It is the mental satisfaction in relationships that further leads to the rest of the enjoyments of life. 

The relationship is meant for love and care and is about the union. Love and care are the two main pillars of relationship building. If misunderstanding finds a place there, then some chances are that hate pain and blame will occupy the building of a relationship. And first of all, pillars of love and care will collapse.

If you are in a relationship and are finding no more love and care from your boyfriend, rather than signs of hate are dominant, then there are certain aspects to consider about.

First of all, consider the myth of relationships.

Myth of relationships

Many relationship behaviors weaken the possibilities of a relationship working. But one of the most familiar is the hoard of pre-set intentions. People are different in their points of view that how a relationship should work. But they all agree that there should not be jealousy, guilt, and begging in it. Going through an abusive and hurting relationship becomes painful and causes heartbreaks.

When relationship-seekers or those already in a relationship do not understand these potential fixed restrictions, they are more inclined to rehearse attitudes that have not helped in the past.

Why do I feel like my boyfriend hates me?

As your boyfriend feels no charm in your person and finds you boring, that’s why he is not fresh while having your glimpse. He remains uninterested and undedicated toward you. That’s why you feel that he hates you

The problem is not in your looks. The problem is you possess no more queries to fascinate him. By working on your dealings with your boyfriend and bringing some positive changes in your walk and talk, you can restore the interest of your boyfriend in you.

How do you know if your boyfriend hates you?

If you have become worthless and no more sexually appealing to your boyfriend, it means your boyfriend hates you and finds no charm in your person. What you need is not to be depressed and hateful in return. You can win his feelings back with your polite manners. Also, don’t blame him for his infidelity, rather love him more than ever.

Do I hate my boyfriend?

If you feel uncomfortable in his company and find yourself easy without him, it means you hate your boyfriend. It can also be disliking for him.

There are certain reasons behind every happening. If you are going through a tough time and have not had considerable contact with your boyfriend for a long time, it can be because of his narcissistic nature and infidelity. This kind of heartbreak leads to breaking up.

Does my boyfriend love me?

If your boyfriend is emotionally attached to you and takes good care of your self-esteem by giving you a priority, it means your boyfriend loves you. Sometimes there may be blame pain and shame from his side, but being a genuine lover, he will admit his mistake by apologizing and you people will move on without negative thoughts of the past happening.

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Causes – Why Does My Boyfriend Hate Me?

Here, first, we should discuss the points that can be the reasons for his disliking or hate towards you. These points are like the prognosis of the problem, which would further lead to adjustment and counseling.

Mental illness.

People are different in their approach, and they react in a different manner, even though they are passing through the same bumpy ride.

It is our mental access towards facing and tackling the problems that make us different.

If one is mentally sick, he can’t handle even a single issue of his life. The love affair is no exception. That particular man finds faults in everything, and nothing can soothe him. He will lose his self-worth and his self-hatred or self-appreciation will be dominant.

Sometimes mental illness changes the personality traits in such a way and in a little time that it becomes impossible to believe that it is the same guy who was a while ago.

when your boyfriend hates you, note that Mental Health is Health

We can’t justify this kind of behavior, yet we need to understand that if it is an illness, it should be cured and counseled.

A man who is having mental disorder and misfit personality traits finds it hard to be happy and move on in a relationship. Sometimes they may self-love, and sometimes they may self-hate. Coping with such people is a bit difficult, but not impossible.

Such people are also jealous and become miserable because of a lack of affection. They are not alone but rather introverts and seem needy when we look at their flaws.

So mental illness can be the reason behind his hatred towards you.

Issues at the workplace or at school.

At times, we find issues in other areas of life that affect our love life. At work, everybody is not our friend and well-wisher. Being colleagues, there is always a race of getting superior positions among people. There is no forgiveness and race for worth makes the man worthless.

By hook or crook, they want to secure more points to get a higher designation. It hurts those who are straightforward and are never a part of any wake of official dispute.

It stings, but being helpless, they can’t do anything. Instead, their mood gets irritated.

With this irritation, one comes back. While dealing with near and dear ones because of that irritation over the tiniest thing, their anger arises to the sky.

Sufferings and Sufferers

Note the point more vividly. There are two types of people who suffer from this. One is an active sufferer, other is a passive sufferer.

The one who directly faces this manipulation at the office or workplace is the active sufferer, while the near and dear one who deals with the active sufferer in his bad mood becomes the passive sufferer.

So you being girlfriend or wife, can be the passive sufferer.

you might suffer being a girlfriend
you might suffer being a girlfriend

The active sufferer needs a place to purge his emotions of anger and depression, and it is more likely he would find that place in you.

Here we need to understand that he is not at fault as he is helpless by the social scenario and his inability to deal with the situation.

It is voluntary for humans that they usually burst up in front of those whom they consider their near ones.

If we take the point more psychologically, we shall come to know that it is their love and trust in us that compels them to be all open in front of us.

If your boyfriend is a schoolboy, there are chances that he had fought there at school with his classmates or got a mess with the teacher that has upset his mood and now because of that anger he can’t behave in a respectful manner with you.

Unhappy and dissatisfying relationship.

We can’t stay happy if we are not satisfied with the people with whom we are living or sharing our time. 1

Here, you have to reconsider whether everything is right in your relationship.

There are chances that your friend is not happy with something in the relationship, and now he is making lame excuses to get rid of it. Probably he would not talk about it candidly.

It can also be a sign that what he wants in a relationship, he is not getting.

If he is conservative, he might feel embarrassed or consider it a bad omen to take you out with his friends.

This all concludes at one point that there is something unpleasant, and he is dissatisfied with being in a relationship with you.

And to conceal all these facts, he shows anger to avoid being accountable.

Why does my boyfriend hate me - 4 Reasons & 8 Solutions

Solutions – What to do if your boyfriend hates you?

These solutions will assist you in molding your boyfriend so that he could not hate you anymore.


Need to have a look at our shirt front. While discussing all of him, we should not forget ourselves, too, as it takes two hands to clap. 2

First, ask yourself why do you think your boyfriend hates you?
In which areas did you notice the signs of the elements or signs of hatred?
What made you feel that he no more loves you?
What are those particular changes that you feel in him?
These are some questions to be answered.

Your answer to yourself should be logical, and it should justify your stance, too.

Self-accountability is key to find why does your boyfriend hate you
Self-accountability is key to find why does your boyfriend hate you

According to psychology, there is a time when we assume things and load our skull with that stuff that doesn’t even exist.

These misconceptions lead to more complications in relationships. In the end, when we peep through the past, we are compelled to acknowledge that there was nothing like it but just our pessimistic overthinking that ruined and devastated our relationship.

Come on, be easy and relaxed and ponder over the matter calmly, whether is it so in your relationship?

Are you too suffering from pessimistic overthinking?

You will have to be realistic while answering this question because if it is so, the problem is not just with him.

Good communication is the bridge between confusion and clarity.

Communication Gap.

Effective communication makes the relationship get going, while the gap in communication breaks the relationship.

The communication gap further leads to misconceptions.

Even in the teenage or early twenties, the relationship is not just about physical charms and comforts. It also demands oral communication to untie the twisted riddles of life.

In relationships, the people who face a communication gap are more likely to have mental issues. By this, they expose themselves to the unavoidable source of depression.

Communication gap is the reason your boyfriend hate you
Communication gap is the reason your boyfriend hates you

They are doomed to the gloom of anxiety and frustration, which further make roads for ultimate bad temper.

Communication is the two-way track that helps us convey our feelings and sentiments to our partners.

By it, we also comprehend their point of view.

Sometimes we communicate just to communicate. We forget the main purpose of communication, which is mutual understanding.

So now try to recollect when you had your last pleasant conversation. What and how was the matter discussed?

We would find that even if that sitting was not bad, that was not pleasant too.

Considering your question that, “why does my boyfriend hate me?” We can assert that it was a long ago when you discussed your matter in a pleasant mood.

So lack of communication is also one of the reasons to make the issue gigantic.

We have discussed the issue from all angles. It means we have thoroughly understood it. Now we have to look for treatment and even prevention to stay safe from it in the future.

In this regard following points can be fruitful in tackling the issue.

Be bold and respectful

Being bold and respectful makes your manners sophisticated and enhances the chances of being treated with love and care. It is also valuable in getting the love of your partner.

Your respectful manners would occupy your room in your lover’s heart, and your boldness would enchant him to a large extent.

Be patient and compassionate.

While having a bad time in a relationship, one loses patience. He just bursts up and loses the opportunity of reconciliation. Patience is key while you are rectifying a difficult situation. Compassion further assists us in grabbing our partner’s attention.

If he is harsh or behaves hostile, hold the shield of patience and compassion to survive his assaults. Soon he would lose his power and come to normal functioning.

At the same time, he would be ashamed of his behavior, and more likely, he would apologize for it too.

Patience and compassion are antidotes to hatred.

Don’t try to control him; Be influential.

Do Not try to control your boyfriend if hates you

Don’t bother to control your partner’s hatred. It is something that is never in your hands. What is in your hand is to be influential!

It is up to you how you realize to him how good you are to him, and what blessings he may have in carrying on with you as a partner.

By creating a pleasant environment, you indirectly compel him to love you.

It is said, “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

Apply it to your troubled relationship. You would find this impression true.

Be at backfoot.

Being at the front foot, you all possess, is aggression and anger to express. He is doing the same. So what would be the result? The devastation of the relationship. If you are here, it means you want the solution and make things good and pleasant for both of you.

So we recommend you to be on the back foot. Being on the back foot would help you consider the various means to get your love back.

It will also covert his hatred into love.

Adorn yourself.

The best way to allure your boyfriend is to adorn yourself. While you are adorned, having a glance at you would melt him at first sight. He would forget all his ailments and charges.

Here adorn yourself means to adorn with both the beauty of body and manners.

Indeed, beauty can’t stand beauty. If one finds something more charming than what he is having; he would crave for that.

You know, “boys are boys.” They will always be appealed by beauty. So, being a girlfriend, you need to look beautiful. Beauty is not just about face. It is about good physique, better walk, and best talk. Try to acquire these three. As soon as you gain these, he will be all yours.

Things to avoid.

Following are points that you have to consider strictly. These would help you finish the various issues even before they start.

Do not look at his inbox messages
Do not look at his inbox messages
  1. Never be suspicious and don’t try to find to have a look at his inbox messages.
  2. Please don’t be disrespectful to his friends and family.
  3. Don’t forget to give him space. It would crave him to have your partnership forever.
  4. Never be closefisted in admiration and encouragement. Whenever he looks gorgeous or dressed up, something special, be the first to admire. Even if he secures something in life, be there to clap for him.
  5. Avoid show-off. Be clear and sincere. It would occupy you with his respect.

We, the relationcounseling.org, are hopeful that after utilizing the recommended steps, you will soon be admired and loved by your boyfriend. 

For more relationship counseling, you can also visit our site.

why does my boyfriend hate me - InfoGraphics by RelationCounseling.Org
All solutions in one picture by relationcounseling.org


It feels great when a boyfriend and girlfriend relationship goes well. But there might come a time when disturbances come into relation in any form. When it happens, many side effects of relation start appearing like hate!

So, if you are feeling like your boyfriend has started hating you, you are in a miserable phase of life. But don’t worry. RelationCounseling.Org is with you to tackle this.

Above, in this guide, we mentioned four possible reasons and eight expert solutions to mold your boyfriend and eliminate his hate from your precious relationship. 

By following these solutions, you will soon start seeing positive changes in your boyfriend.

Your opinion is our union! 💕

  1. Chen, WW., Xu, G., Wang, Z. et al. Unhappy us, unhappy me, unhappy life: The role of self-esteem in the relation between adult attachment styles and mental healthCurr Psychol 41, 837–846 (2022). []
  2. Kirsten Passyn, Mita Sujan, Self-Accountability Emotions and Fear Appeals: Motivating BehaviorJournal of Consumer Research, Volume 32, Issue 4, March 2006, Pages 583–589 []
Usman Hussain

Usman started his relationship back in July 2012. After many ups and downs, on 13 December 2020, he married the same girl. With 10+ years of a happy relationship, he knows how a relationship works, and the keys to happy relations. read more

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