Why Does My Husband Hate me? Signs, Causes & 10 Solu.

The course of married life never runs smoothly. There come times when one starts thinking that they are not being valued in the way that they should have been.

Human beings, especially men, get tired of routine life. They want change to refresh themselves. If they are not provided with, they get irritated. This irritation of theirs feels painful to wives and the first thing they stuff in their minds is that their husbands are no more like before. They hate their wives is the second one.

At first, the spouses find emotional distance and then blame each other for being indifferent. Yelling and verbal abuse seem routine. They insult each other in rage and become cruel in their dealings.

Does your husband hates you or not? The following signs can help you in figuring it out.

Signs Your Husband Hates You!

Your husband’s rude behavior and not feeling ashamed of his words is the biggest sign he hates you. If you have noticed any slow or sudden changes in his attitude, note them down.

If you succeeded in figuring out the turning signs, it will later help you in diagnosing the problem.

1. Not talking much.

If he has suddenly stopped sharing his thoughts with you, it means he is not liking you anymore. Men love to share things and talk to the ones they love and care about.

So, if he used to share things before with you and is not doing so now, he might have started disliking you. If your polite inquiries become the reason for domestic violence, it means your spouse has started hating you.

2. Stopped caring about you.

Men have a nature of care. They care for their loved ones. I am sure he used to care for you a lot before things started changing. If he stopped caring about you, and your feelings, it is a sign something bad happened in your relationship.

Not caring you is a sign your spouse starting hating you
Not caring about you is a sign your spouse hates you.

To check it further, discuss something with your husband. It can be like you want to go out with him and judge his reaction. If he prefers isolation and reacts like he doesn’t need to go out with you, he is hating you.

3. Things becoming boring.

He doesn’t talk much, has no humor at all, doesn’t want to go out with you, doesn’t bring any presents for you, doesn’t show affection for you, doesn’t show any interest in you, is not interested in what you like; yes, you are having an unhealthy relationship

A boring relationship is also a sign that he hates you.
A boring relationship is also a sign that he hates you.

If you have noticed that your relationship has become boring and boring over the last couple of weeks or months, it is a sign he has started hating you and doesn’t feel happy with you.

To others, he is all honey but when it comes to you, he hurts you with humiliating behavior. He uses power and controls you, and his bitterness is evident while talking to you.

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4. Not spending time with you.

Men are very picky by nature. They only want to spend time with the ones they like or care about. These can be their friendships or families. Other family members can also be included in it.

Simpsons Homer Bushes GIF

If you have noticed that your husband is not giving you time now or giving less time than before and when he spends time with you, it seems like a formality only; it is because he is hating you now.

5. Irritability.

Have you noticed that when you talk and share your feelings with him, he becomes irritable?

It is the sign from deep inside he has started hating you. He doesn’t want to listen to you.

His body language and gestures show no empathy for you. His verbal harassment and disrespect are dominant aspects to make you scared.

6. Not Putting his efforts into the relationship.

A marital relationship is a name of mutual efforts. Both husband and wife put their efforts into keeping the relationship working.

When the relationship starts becoming unhealthy, both need their contributions to bring its beauty back. But, he is not putting in his efforts!

If it is, it is a sign your husband hates you now.

7. Sex life is ending.

Physical intimacy in a marriage has great importance. If you have noticed that his passion for sex is ending, it means either he is interested in another woman or is not liking you anymore.

When you talk about it, he suddenly comes to hotlines and starts with abusive words. Sometimes he comes with emotional torture and feels no shame for his words.

05 Actual Signs Your Husband Hates You - InfoGraphics by RelationCounseling.Org
all signs in one image.
Why Does My Husband Hate me - Guide to remold his behavior

Causes – Why My Husband Hates Me?

It might feel like it is the husband who started doing bad things; it is his fault, but please do not behave badly with your husband. At this point, he needs your support, love, and huge respect. He wants you to believe in him.

Now, when you have a mindset of improving your marriage, let’s understand why your husband started hating you.

Related: signs he pretends to love you

1. Mental illness.

People are different if their approaches and they react differently, even though they are passing through the same bumpy ride. It is the mental access towards facing and tackling the problems that make us different.

If your husband is mentally sick, he can’t handle even a single issue of his own. The love affair is no exception. Such a person finds faults in everything, and nothing can soothe him.

Mental illness can be a reason that your husband started hating you.
Mental illness can be a reason that your husband started hating you.

Yes, sometimes this mental illness changes the personality traits in such a way and in a little time that it becomes impossible to believe that it is the same guy who was a while ago!

It is not just for this behavior, yet emphasizes that we need to understand that it is a disorder and it should be adjusted and counseled. 

So, mental illness can be the reason behind his hatred towards you.

2. Issues at the workplace.

Sometimes we find issues in other areas of life that affect our love life. At work, everybody is not our friend or well-wisher. 

Being colleagues, there is always a race of getting superior positions among people. By hook or crook, they want to secure more points to get a higher designation.

It hurts those who are straightforward and are never a part of any official dispute. It stings, but being helpless, they can’t do anything. Instead, their mood gets irritated.

Your husband's issues at workplace can also trigger hate in your relationship
Your husband’s issues at workplace can also trigger hate in your relationship

With this irritation, one comes back. While dealing with near and dear ones because of that irritation over the tiniest thing, his anger arises to the sky.

Your husband’s issues at the workplace can be the reason for your disturbed relationship.

3. Sufferings and Sufferers.

Note the point more seriously. There are two types of people who suffer from this. One is an active sufferer, the other is a passive sufferer.

The one who directly faces this manipulation at the office or workplace is the active sufferer, while the one who is near and dear and deals with the active sufferer in his bad mood becomes the passive sufferer.

So you, being a wife, can be the passive sufferer.

The active sufferer needs a place to purge his emotions of anger and depression. It is more likely he would find that place in you.

Man Talking and Disturbing Woman GIF

Here we need to understand that he is not at fault as he is helpless by the social scenario and his inability to deal with the situation.

It is voluntary for humans that they usually burst up in front of those whom they consider their near and dear ones.

If we take the point more psychologically, we shall come to know that it is their love and trust in us that compels them to be all open in front of us.

Related: My husband makes me feel bad about myself

4. Anything happened in the past between you and your husband.

Wives have a controlling nature. They want to control their husbands so that they just do what their wives want them to do. If you are interrupting your husband for small things over the last months or years, it can be the reason your husband has now started hating you.

Note that marriage is a name of mutual understanding and mutual efforts. If you are trying to implement orders on your husband, it will hurt your relationship in the long run.

5. Unhappy and dissatisfying relationship.

We can’t stay happy if we are not satisfied with the people with whom we are living or sharing our time. 1

Here, you have to reconsider whether everything is right in your relationship.

There are chances that your husband is not happy with something in the relationship, and now he is making lame excuses to get rid of it. Probably he would not talk about it candidly.

It can also be a sign that what he wants in a relationship, he is not getting!

Why My Husband Hates Me Because of Unhappy Relationship
Why My Husband Hates Me Because of Unhappy Relationship.

If he is conservative, he might feel embarrassed or consider it a bad omen to take you out with his friends.

This all concludes at one point that there is something unpleasant, and he is dissatisfied with being in a relationship with you.

And to conceal all these facts, he shows anger to avoid being accountable.

Related: Characteristics of an Unhealthy Relationship 
Related: Characteristics of a Healthy Relationship

Why My Husband Hates Me - Info Graphics by RelationCounseling.Org
all reasons in one image.

What to do if your husband hates you?

If you have confirmed that your husband hates you, please be strong. We can together mold your husband’s attitude. You just need to be patient and follow the below highly recommended steps.

Here are the possible solutions if your husband hates you.

1. Self-accountability.

Have a look at your shirt front . While discussing all of him, we should not forget ourselves, too, as it takes two hands to clap. 2

First, ask yourself why do you think your husband hates you?
In which areas did you notice the signs of the elements or signs of hatred?
What made you feel that he no more loves you?
What are those particular changes that you feel in him?

These are some questions to be answered.

Your answer to yourself should be logical, and it should justify your stance too.

According to psychology, there is a time when we assume things and load our skull with that stuff that doesn’t even exist.

These misconceptions lead to more complications in relationships. In the end, when we peep through the past, we are compelled to acknowledge that there was nothing like it but just our pessimistic overthinking that ruined our relationship.

Come on, be easy and relaxed and ponder over the matter calmly, whether is it so in your relationship?

Are you too suffering from pessimistic overthinking?

You have to be realistic while answering this question because if it is so, the problem is not just with him.

2. Communication Gap.

Effective communication makes the relationship get going, while the gap in communication breaks the relationship.

The communication gap further leads to misconceptions.

Even after spending considerable time married time, the relationship is not just about physical charms and comforts. It also demands oral communication to untie the twisted riddles of life.

In relationships, the people who face a communication gap are more likely to have mental issues. By this, they expose themselves to the unavoidable source of depression.

people who face a communication gap are more likely to have mental issues.
people who face a communication gap are more likely to have mental issues.

The communication gap is the reason your husband hates you. They are doomed to the gloom of anxiety and frustration, which further makes the roads for ultimate bad temper.

Communication is the two-way track that helps us convey our feelings and sentiments to our partners.

By it, we also comprehend their point of view.

Sometimes we communicate just to communicate. We forget the main objective of communication, which is mutual understanding.

So now try to recollect when you had your last pleasant conversation. What and how was the matter discussed?

We would find that even if that sitting was not bad, that was not pleasant too.

Considering your question, “why does my husband hate me?” We can assert that it was a long time ago when you discussed your matter in a pleasant mood.

So lack of communication is also one of the reasons to make the issue gigantic.

Related: How to communicate with your spouse 

3. Make him talk and just listen to him.

You know already; he hates you and does not talk to you pleasantly. It is time to take a step and try to make him talk to you. 

Because, if he starts talking and expressing himself to you, the problem will be solved. He will be open to you and be transparent with you. This will further lead you toward a happy relationship.

Occasionally, ask him what happened, and why you are not taking interest in me anymore? Don’t force him to talk, if he avoids discussion. 

It might take you a day to a week before he will finally agree to talk about the problem with you.

But, please make sure when he starts talking and expressing himself to you, do not interrupt him; just actively listen to him.

Man Saying Listen Carefully - GIF

4. Be bold and respectful.

Being bold and respectful makes your manners sophisticated and enhances the chances of being treated with love and care. It is also valuable in getting the love of your partner. 3

Your respectful manners would occupy your room in your husband’s heart, and your boldness would enchant him to a large extent.

Related: What is respect in a relationship 
Related: How to make a guy want you 

5. Be patient and compassionate.

While having a bad time in a relationship, one loses patience. He just bursts up and loses the opportunity of reconciliation. Patience is key while you are rectifying a difficult situation. Compassion further assists us in grabbing our partner’s attention.

If he is harsh or behaves with hostility, hold the shield of patience and compassion to survive his assaults. Soon, he would lose his power and come to normal functioning.

What to do if your husband hates you Be patent.
What to do if your husband hates you? Be patent.

Further, he would be ashamed of his behavior, and more likely, he would apologize for it too.

Patience and compassion are antidotes to hatred.

6. Don’t try to control him; Be influential.

Don’t bother to control your partner’s hatred. It is something that is never in your hands. What is in your hand is to be influential!

It is up to you how you realize to him how much good you are to him, and what blessings he may have in carrying on with you as a partner.

By creating a pleasant environment, you indirectly compel him to love you.

It is said, “you can catch more flies with honey than vinegar.”

Apply it to your troubled relationship. You would find this impression true.

7. Be at the backfoot.

Being at the front foot, all you possess is aggression and anger to express. He is doing the same. So what would be the result? The devastation of the relationship. 

If you are here, it means you want the solution that makes things good and pleasant for both of you.

So I recommend you to be on the back foot. Being on the backfoot would help you consider the various means to get your love back.

It will also covert his hatred into love.

8. Adorn yourself.

The best way to allure your husband is to adorn yourself. While you are adorned, having a glance at you would melt him at first sight. He would forget all his ailments and charges.

Here adorn yourself means to adorn with both the beauty of body and manners.

Indeed, beauty can’t stand beauty. If one finds something more charming than what he is having, he would crave that.

Man Removing His glasses after seeing beauty gif

You know, “men are men.” They will always be appealed by beauty. So, being a wife, you need to look beautiful. Beauty is not just about the face. It is about a good physique, better walk, and best talk. Try to acquire these three. As soon as you gain these, he will be all yours.

Related: How to make your husband feel special
Related: How to treat your husband like a king

9. Make him believe he needs you.

It is an important step. Husband and wife both need one another’s efforts to live happily. Now when your husband has started hating you it is time to make him realize he needs you. 

You can do it by using your feminine attractiveness, loving him more, cooking his favorite dish for him, and sometimes by giving him some space. 

Make him believe he needs you if hates you.
Make him believe he needs you if hates you.

Men are attracted to beauty; make yourself more beautiful and be ready to welcome him at the entrance with a smile when he arrives at home. 

And when things are not getting better, give him some space. You can go to your friends’ or family’s house for two days or a week. Meanwhile, your husband will start missing you and will feel your value in his life.

But please do it when all the other steps are not working for you.

Related: how to make him realize he needs you

10. Things to avoid.

Following are points that you have to consider strictly. These would help you to finish the various issues even before they start.

Never be suspicious and don’t try to find to have a look at his inbox messages.
Don’t be disrespectful to his friends and family.
Don’t forget to give him space. It would crave him to have your partnership forever.

Never be closefisted in admiration and encouragement. Whenever he looks gorgeous or is dressed up with something special, be the first to admire him. Even if he secures something special in life, be there to clap for him.

Avoid show-off. Be clear and sincere. It would occupy you with his respect.

We, the relationcounseling.org, are hopeful that after utilizing the recommended steps, you will soon be admired and loved by your boyfriend. 

For more relationship counseling, you can also visit our site.

By following these solutions, you will soon start seeing positive changes in your husband.

What to do if your husband hates you - InfoGraph by RelationCounseling.org
all solutions in one picture.

Your opinion is our union! 💕

  1. Chen, WW., Xu, G., Wang, Z. et al. Unhappy us, unhappy me, unhappy life: The role of self-esteem in the relation between adult attachment styles and mental healthCurr Psychol 41, 837–846 (2022).[]
  2. Kirsten Passyn, Mita Sujan, Self-Accountability Emotions and Fear Appeals: Motivating BehaviorJournal of Consumer Research, Volume 32, Issue 4, March 2006, Pages 583–589.[]
  3. Chapman, B., Guven, C. Revisiting the Relationship Between Marriage and Wellbeing: Does Marriage Quality Matter?J Happiness Stud 17, 533–551 (2016).[]

Usman started his relationship back in July 2012. After many ups and downs, on 13 December 2020, he married the same girl. With 10+ years of a happy relationship, he knows how a relationship works, and the keys to happy relations. read more


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