What does it mean to be a submissive wife? 15 Qualities!

“Submissive wife means the wife who through the contract of marriage acknowledges the leadership of her husband and serves her husband wholeheartedly without being subordinate. She is always willing to lay down on her husband. Being submissive, she is considered a traditional wife.”

The term “submissive wife” has vastness in its meaning. We shall discuss the topic of “submissive wife” from all angles. We shall discuss that what are the qualities of a submissive wife and how you can be a submissive wife.

To be a submissive wife is a choice, not helplessness. Though some people consider it an old-fashioned trait yet, it is considered a commendable quality by many.

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What is a submissive wife?

A submissive wife is a strong woman who pleases her husband spiritually and physically. 

She obeys her husband and acknowledges his leadership. She considers her submissiveness to her husband as the commandment of the Lord. She stays away from being a feminist and never tries to be dominant over her partner. 

She seeks her husband’s attention and renders him her services wholeheartedly. 

What does it mean to be submissive in marriage?

To be submissive in marriage means to put the ego aside and serve your partner with the purity of heart and soul. It is the encouragement that keeps the partner motivated to please their partner. Sheer obedience and dedication are the main characteristics of the submissive partner.

What does it mean to be a submissive wife - guide by RelationCounseling.org

How To Be a Submissive Wife?

Followings are the qualities of a submissive wife. By considering these qualities, you can judge whether you are a submissive wife or not. 

Even if you want to be an obedient wife, these points will help you adopt the submission.

Here are 15 qualities of a submissive wife. Adopting these will make you your husband’s adorable wife.

1) Put aside your ego.

The first and foremost quality of a submissive wife is to be ego-free. She knows that none of the civic or domestic roles can be performed accurately, being an egoist. 

The submissive wife never says that as her husband is not giving her priority, so she will not give him a favor, too. She is always above the conditions of love. 

She becomes the personification of true love. She understands, ” To kill one’s ego for the sake of a particular individual is the true love.”

So to be a submissive wife first, you have to get rid of your ego.

2) Spend quality time with your husband.

Life is the game of priorities. To whom the priority is given becomes dear and near one. For a submissive wife, the priority is always her husband. 

She never forgets to spend quality time with her husband. Spending quality time between spouses strengthens the relationship. 

Submissive wife never neglects her marriage and knows that happy married life demands to work on it every day. She knows there would be times when she would not like certain traits of her husband, but even though she should keep loving and caring for him. 

Before his husband comes back, she finishes all her household works so that she may sit with him and make the moments beautiful.

3) Develop intimacy.

To be a submissive wife does not mean just calmness and seriousness in attitude. To be a submissive wife means to deal with the husband in the best possible polite way. 

In politeness, adding intimacy will adorn the relationship with more colors. Being a submissive wife means, you should prioritize intimacy in your marriage. 

Develop intimacy to become a submissive wife
Develop intimacy to become a submissive wife

There is no doubt that intimacy is the jewelry of a submissive wife and fascinates the marriage to a large extent. Furthermore, it helps to grow new zeal and zest in married life. 

So be the first to flirt with your husband and never look back. When he would discover that you desire him, he would be more close to you. Intimacy, a little bit of sweet mischief, and jubilant manners take the marriage to the next level of love and care.

4) Always stay conscious of your roles.

In today’s modern world, marriage with common gender positions and values is being lost. While you are committed to being a submissive wife, just don’t allow peer pressure to stop you from your desire to live a traditional life. 

There is nothing unfair about being submissive to your husband. What you need is to be always conscious about your roles. While he is at work, you must take charge of the home. 

Take pride in your place. Always keep it clean, tidy, and welcoming. It will reveal to your husband how much you are involved in the home. It will show him that you give value to the work that he does to provide you and your children with the things that you are having at home.

Always stay conscious of your roles
Always stay conscious of your roles

After your husband, you are the head and everything at your home. Keep the home tidy enough. Put the stuff in its original place. If you are also having the role of mom, be fair and clear about it. 

Take good care of your children. If you have a maid at home, assign her duties, but as for your husband’s affairs are concerned, you yourself try to deal with them. Being a submissive wife, you have some sub-roles too. Try to deal with each one. 

Being conscious of your roles and performing them, you become the helping hand of your husband, which is a commendable attribute.

5) Remember the importance of self-care.

Always give priority to self-care. Remember that your husband is visual. You should try to give the best looks of yourself. Having a wedding ring on your finger does not make you look good. 

Eat a healthy diet and take good exercise to look beautiful and well-figured. Along with physical health, you should look after your mental health. 

Remember the importance of self-care
Remember the importance of self-care

You can make it good by avoiding the nonsense stuff. For physical health, if it is possible, hit the gym. If not, working out at home would not be a bad option. 

Working out will make you mentally strong and physically beautiful. With good mental health, you will deal with the affairs of life with confidence, and it will enhance your degree in the sense of a submissive wife. Furthermore, your physical beauty would be a charm to your husband.

6) Be clear and fair in dirty talk.

Physical intercourse should be a pleasurable experience not only for you but also for your husband. So never be scared to tell your husband that you want physical intimacy. Even tell him what kind of physical intimacy you like. If some other ways are fascinating to him, firstly, accept him. 

Being a submissive wife, you should prioritize your husband’s will. But it does not imply that you become a slave or a doormat to him. You, too, have feelings that should be cared for and respected. 

Be clear and fair in dirty talks
Be clear and fair in dirty talks

So, in short, during physical intercourse, mutual happiness is derived. 

While you both are in the mood, tell him about your priorities and ask him his. Then find a suitable way to satisfy each other. “A good ride a week takes the relationship to the peak.”

Anyway, never try to use feminine charm as a tool to get the things you want. Never deny your husband’s physical charms, hoping that he would change his mind. When he says that presently he can’t afford it, try to understand him. Accept his words with grace and have faith in him. He would soon provide you with the things you want.

7) Have eyes only for your husband.

It is said that there is a good reason for having two ears, two eyes, and only one tongue. The wife, who knows to guard her tongue, saves her from many troubles. Being a submissive wife possess eyes, ears, and a sweet tongue for your husband. 

Having eyes only for husband is one of the characteristics of a submissive wife
Having eyes only for husband is one of the characteristics of a submissive wife

Your husband should be a special one for you. Never try to compare him with movie stars or your friends’ husbands. Even don’t compare his income with the rest of the people. Your husband is unique in his way. Nobody can compete with him. He is perfect for you. 

If sometimes you don’t like your husband or some of his activities even then don’t forget to love him. Because misunderstandings and misconceptions are temporary, while love is permanent, never forget that materialistic things give happiness only for a short time, while the husband’s love and care will make you happy permanently.

8) Be thrifty while spending.

It is the quality of a submissive wife that she is thrifty while spending dollars. She knows that there is a fraction of the difference while making coffee at home instead of visiting restaurants. 

She is aware that her husband works hard to earn the money that she spends. She intends to have some savings for the rainy days.

Be thrifty while spending
Be thrifty while spending

Above all, the submission of the wife is calculated when the husband is in a bad financial position, while the husband’s love and care are checked when the wife is sick. So everything is important in its place, but to stay contended and stand with the husband in financial misery is the real submission of the wife.

When one is with bulky pockets, everybody around becomes near and dear, but when the wallet thins, the real test of the relationship begins.

So being thrifty in approach would make you financially stable. It would also save you from the financial crisis of the future.

9) Even being disagreed, stay with him.

Human beings are free in their thoughts. They can’t be made agree by force. Even being in love, there comes a time when one can’t agree with the other. The same can be with you. 

If on a particular matter you can’t agree with your husband, there is no problem with it. It’s quite natural. But it does not indicate that you start beating the drum and hurry to discuss the issue with your family and friends. 

It would not favor you; rather, it would harm your submission as a wife. Your friends and family would favor you because you are dear to them, and they would have listened to you, not your husband. Here, you need to stay with your husband. 

At a suitable time, you can make him realize that he was wrong, and he would accept that too.

10) Accept his leadership wholeheartedly.

Accepting your husband as a leader is more important and meaningful than just making him a leader. 

To accept him as a leader, you have to step back and stop making decisions. Give him authority to make decisions.

Accept his leadership wholeheartedly and become a submissive wife
Accept his leadership wholeheartedly and become a submissive wife

As you are a partner, so you possess the right to make different proposals and suggestions yet acknowledge that he is authorized to make final decisions. 

If you are sure that he is making a wrong decision, even then, don’t say that you are wrong. Ask him to hold for some time. And then, as you find an appropriate time, tell him about your concerns.

In short, as a submissive wife, be sure that your husband would not only listen to you but also give prestige to your opinion.

11) Put aside your phone.

When you are with your husband and discussing something, just put your phone aside. Looking at the phone screen and mumbling the answer is ridiculous. 

Discussion of some important or even a common issue while operating the cell phone seems harmless but actually, it is an immoral and petty thing to do.

By this, he will come to understand that it is a cell phone that is important, not him. Though he may not interrupt you for this somewhere inside him, he surely will not be pleased with you.

12) Be His true companion.

Being his true companion stand with him in every thick and thin. You are a true supporter and partner of your husband. In difficult situations, it becomes more important to stand with him. Your supporting gesture and words would alleviate his concerns. 

Make sure that whenever you people intend to return to bed, go together. Going to bed together is very important. If he is going to bed, don’t be there on the couch, having a remote in hand. By this, you will miss the beautiful and romantic moments.

13) Stay connected with him.

For a submissive wife, marriage is everlasting. Being a submissive wife, you should have a dependence on your husband and he should be habitual with you. 

Stay connected with him
Stay connected with him

For this, never make your husband feel alone. Whether you are physically with him or not it does not matter. Pay him good attention. Your husband is more important than your social media feeds. Even when he is outside there at work, stay connected with him. You can text him or call him to remind him that you miss him.

Remember, we are recommending love texts and calls, not grocery lists. To remember, texts and calls should have limitations so that he may not be disturbed.

14) Disagree with him but with respect.

You have all the rights to disagree with your husband but with respectful manners. Never forget to be kind and affectionate with your words. Even if you are angry, avoid harsh words. By using harsh words, you would hurt not only him but also yourself.

If he is not behaving appropriately even, then be polite and pass the jam. He would soon be with you, apologizing for his behavior.

15) Make him sir be his madam.

If you treat your husband as sir, he would treat you as her madam. It is about “be good and have good.”

When you will be submissive to your husband, your relationship will become “Money for Jam,” which is not a bad deal.

There is nothing absurd in being a submissive wife. It is all about behaving well and, in return, being behaved well. Submission never means slavery. It means to love, respect, and give priority to your husband, and in return, you will get these too.

Submissive Wife Infographics
all points in one picture.

Why is submission important in marriage?

Submission is important in marriage, as it allows the wife to serve her husband without being an egoist. 

Submission assists in strengthening the relationship. It produces a sense of responsibility and helps in keeping the heart of love alive. 

On the other hand, it is mandatory for the husband to love his submissive wife and take care of all her needs. If she is serving her wholeheartedly, her husband must stay loyal to her and give her the devotion and respect that she deserves. 

Submission is not slavery. It is the service to your spouse without hurting your self-respect.

What are the benefits of submission as a wife?

Submission as a wife gives the benefit to lead a happy, satisfied, and hassle-free life. 

Submission as a wife breeds contentment. 

A submissive wife gets the loyalty and devotion of her husband. She receives respect and is treated amiably by her husband, whether she is at home or public place. 

She does not have to run the horses of her mind to tackle the various tingled issues of life as it is up to her husband to provide her with a secure and prosperous life.

How to become more submissive to my husband?

The more you will submit yourself to your husband, the more you will be submissive to your husband. It is about the willingness of accepting the will of your husband. 

The more you authorize him to lead you and take decisions, the more he will be dominant and you will be more submissive. Being submissive to your husband is a choice. 

The amount of submission usually doesn’t matter at all. A wife is submissive to her husband or not. It can’t be said that one is more submissive, and the other is not.

What does it mean to be submissive as a wife?

Being submissive as a wife means submitting yourself to your husband willingly. To be a submissive wife is a choice. A submissive wife accepts her husband as her leader and assists him in every walk and talk of life. 

She serves her husband wholeheartedly, but without compromising her self-esteem. She takes good care of her husband’s needs and is ready for intimacy without any hesitation. She stays satisfied with her husband and goes hand in hand with him through every thick and thin.

To be submissive as a wife means to surrender your ego and serve your husband without hurting your self-respect. It is the order of the Lord that wives should be submissive to their husbands and their husbands should love them as Christ loved the church. This submission of wives includes both, physical submission and spiritual submission.

What does a submissive wife mean Biblically?

Biblically submission of a wife to her husband means respecting the will of her husband. Obeying him in his legal demands and serving him wholeheartedly. 

According to The Bible, be the helper of your husband with choice and authority. 1

Submission of the wife to her husband should be as her submission to the Lord and as the church is to Christ, similarly the wife is to her husband. It means if the wife submits herself to her husband as she has submitted herself to the Lord, then the husband must take care of and love her as Christ cared for and loved the church.

How to be a submissive Christian wife?

You can be a submissive wife to your husband by adopting the will of your husband, submitting yourself to him as you have submitted yourself to the Lord, and being the helper of your husband. 

Let him lead you and ask his opinion on the daily functioning of life. 

Take care of his needs and love him passionately. If he asks for intimation and you are physically in order, don’t hesitate to accomplish his desire. Be the real assistant to your husband, avoiding belittling. 

Don’t accept if his behavior becomes abusive. Being a submissive wife, you are half of his whole, not the doormat.

Where in the bible does it talk about the submissive wife?

Ephesians 5:22-24 talks about the submission of wives to their husbands.

It says, Submit yourself to your husband as you have submitted yourself to your Lord. For a submissive wife, the husband should be the head and leader as Christ is the head of the church.

 As the Church totally belongs to Christ, so a wife’s submission to her husband should be in everything.

What is a submissive wife according to the Bible?

According to Bible submissive wife is a wife who respects the will of her husband. Obeys her husband in his legal demands and satisfies him wholeheartedly. She is the helper of her husband with her own choice and authority. 

Submission of the wife to her husband should be as her submission to the Lord and as the church is to Christ, similarly the wife is to her husband. It means if the wife submits herself to her husband as she has submitted herself to the Lord, then the husband must take care of and love her as Christ cared for and loved the church.

Conclusion

For a happy relationship, both husband and wife contribute to their relationship. It is why submitting herself to your husband is not a shameful thing.

If a wife is submissive to her husband, it means she is serious about her marriage. 

Our team studied this deeply and compiled this guide with 15 qualities that every submissive wife should have. Go through it and share your concerns or questions, if any.

Your opinion is our union! 💕


References:
  1. https://bible.org/seriespage/lesson-24-submissive-wives-really-colossians-318 []
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Usman Hussain

Usman started his relationship back in July 2012. After many ups and downs, on 13 December 2020, he married the same girl. With 10+ years of a happy relationship, he knows how a relationship works, and the keys to happy relations. read more

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